Look Ma No Patterns!

An Open Letter To Lady Gaga

2010-09-18T09:56:00.008-04:00

Dear Lady Gaga,

Do you ever wake up in the wee hours of the night in a cold sweat asking yourself "When I talk, do I make any sense?"

Case in point, your interview with Ellen DeGeneres. You sauntered in fresh from the VMA's onto her set in what I can only describe as the most ghastly "outfit" in the history of fashion.

Not since I heard stories as a child of Nazis using human skin as home decor items, have I been so disgusted with ones choice of personal decor/adornment.

It's not so much that I'm angry that you used a dead being as a dress, but that the dead being served only one purpose. To perpetuate some lame image of eccentricity.

Hear me our Miss Gaga. I am not one of those vegans who judge those that eat meat. I prepare meat for the hubby. If one wants to consume it, I feel it's not my place to judge. But let me ask you, what exactly did you do with the carcass once you were done with it? Did you just throw it away?

With a reported 40 million Americans on food stamps currently, the 25 lbs. of flesh you wore could have fed a few of those families. While your efforts to work towards making America a more tolerant place for homosexuals to live and thrive are admirable (and I stand behind it wholeheartedly) I would like to tell you that human rights do not stop at Don't Ask Don't Tell. Human rights encompasses all the plight we as people of this country have to endure in order to live another day. This includes poverty. Don't you want all American citizens to live well and thrive? As a human rights advocate, you need to look at every aspect of your actions.

You could argue that you and many of your peers in the entertainment business flaunt your wealth in a sickeningly vulgar way all the time. And you do. But that is why we like celebrities. It is an escape for us. We like looking at "who wore what", and "who wore it better". But by wearing a dead body that many consider food is down right disrespectful.

I'm so sorry Miss Gaga. I'm really getting off track here. Back to your segment on Ellen. I think what really bothered me the most was that you felt you needed a political reason behind wearing this. "If we don't stick up for what we believe in, we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're gonna have as much rights as the meat on our bones." WHAT?! What in the world does that even mean? Miss Gaga, I feel that I have the capacity to think in both logical, and abstract ways, but I still cannot make sense of what you said.

You stepped out onto the white carpet in quite a stunning way. Even beautiful. Since I have never been a fan of yours, or anything you do I was really impressed. I was taken aback as you glided across the carpet in a gorgeous Alexander McQueen (R.I.P.) creation and escorted by several homosexual service people who were discharged due to the hotly debated Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. Again it was stunning, it was tasteful, and best of all it made a point. You had a valid reason for your grand entrance.

But I cannot wrap my mind around your reasoning behind the dead dress. After all, you ARE Lady Gaga. We expect you to wear something shocking and weird. We expect to be shocked. You don't need to back up your fashion choices with with anything. You don't need to explain. Just keep your mouth shut and look weird. I find your explanation of the "outfit" as fake as the wig on your head. You say that there were other reasons behind the "dress" as well. What exactly were they? Do they make any sense?

How do you think your homosexual vegan and vegetarian fans feel about your outfit of choice? I wonder how Ellen felt sitting next to your rotting wardrobe.Your Little Monsters may have cheered, but Ellen didn't seem to buy it any more than I did.

There are many ways to be eccentric Miss Gaga. Howard Hughes never had to wear flesh to be considered eccentric. He grew out a beard, and peed in milk bottles. Best of all, he didn't have to preface his actions with a lame made up political statement.

Save yourself the trouble Miss Gaga and take a cue from Mr. Hughes. Buy a hotel in Vegas, and don't leave it. Ever.

Sincerely,
Krista

Who's Up For A Supply Trade?

2010-09-11T14:41:00.000-04:00

I know I am!

Head on over to Strumpets Crumpets (who is hosting this genius shindig) for all the rules.

...I'm so excited! Yeah, I know...it doesn't take much. Hope to see you there!

Antoine Dodson Is My Personal Hero

2010-09-09T17:44:00.004-04:00

If you're anything like me, then this song has been stuck in your head for days now.

Sure auto-tuning anything is funny, but we all know there's nothing funny about rape. I find this particular story inspiring more than funny.

This family was more than vocal about their feelings regarding the man who attempted to rape Antoine's sister. They used the local news to speak out loudly about him, and made it quite clear that they are determined to find him.

This family chose not to hide in fear and shame.

Here's the original news report.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

2010-08-31T11:43:00.001-04:00

...attack that sucker with a seam ripper until you get it right!

I think I officially learned my lesson this past weekend while making this.

I'm sure you all are quite aware of my hatred for patterns. Well, I also hate measuring. The combination of those two can make for many unfinished, wonky projects that should never see the light of day. Along with hating patterns, and having an aversion to measurements, I try to speed right through my projects. And many times, when a project goes awry, I just shove it half-finished in my closet.

I never sit down with it, and really try to fix it. I often read other bloggers' anecdotes about their seam rippers, and how they could not get through a project without it. I always feel a bit envious when I read them because I simply get fed up when I realize a project has gone ugly. When it comes to my sewing, I'm too much of a hot head to collect myself, sit down, and work my way through the problem.

Until this weekend. I am currently obsessed with the embroidery patterns, and paintings of Andrea Zuill. She manages to mix the cute, the odd, and the interesting subtly and successfully. And best of all, she provides some of her patterns for free to her readers. Perfect for the bored and broke stitcher. I really wanted to use one of her patterns for a new bag.

So Friday night, I decided to use her "Wee Baby Goat" pattern for this project. I had intended for it to go onto the flap of this particular handbag. I had chosen the right fabric, stitched it to the best of my ability, sewn the lining on, and ended up with this. It was too small, and too crooked.

Ugh. I really tried to make it work. I did. I pressed, I clipped my edges, I topstitched, I stared at it, I frowned at it, I cursed at it. But it was bad.

I walked away from it for a bit. But couldn't stop thinking about this bag I wanted to make so badly. So I constructed the lining for the bag. It gave me that push I needed to continue on with it. Ugh I sound like I was attempting some kind of physical labor or something. I'm so dramatic.

I felt better. So I started constructing the outside of the bag. Stupidly, I had sewn the interfacing on the wrong side of the bag so when I turned it right side out to mark my gussets, I ended up with a weird white shiny bag.

UGH! That was the point on Friday that I stopped.

I woke up Saturday still thinking about this failure of a bag. It had no flap, no outside, and after looking at the lining (which I thought I had done correctly) I realized I hadn't even sewn a pocket into it!

First to go was the goat. Sorry goat.

I went back to Andrea's blog, and found the buffalo. Perfect! But even tracing the design had it's troubles. I ran out of the tape I needed to tape it to the window to trace. I had to outline the design with a Sharpie, and trace it on a table. I lost a lot of the patterns detail. I sucked it up though and spent several hours stitching the buffalo.

Then I took apart my disaster of a bag, and sewed it together the right way, ending up with the cute black and white flowers on the outside. The way it was supposed to be. After stitching up the gussets, and lining the new flap, and sewing the handles, I realized it was already time for bed. REALLY?! I spent all of Saturday doing that!

Sunday, I woke up with every intention of finishing it. I wanted to use some metal d-rings on the straps, and do an interesting strap detail up the front of the bag, but I then realized I didn't have enough fabric. Sooooo, I had to take the straps apart, cut them down and stare at the bag all in pieces for nearly 45 minutes. I wish I could go into even more detail about the straps/flap issue, but I believe this post has gotten pretty out of control. :) Below is a photo of the "pile of failure" still sitting on my dining room table.

I also had forgotten to buy closures for the bag. I had to quit screwing around, and get serious about completing this. I didn't want it to end up in the closet with all my other failures.

I found an old bag, took the buckles, and magnetic closures off of it, and hand stitched them onto the flap. I was so proud of myself for being so crafty that I just started sewing, and didn't stop until the bag was finished.

I am so proud of this bag. And not because I think it's perfect. It's not. Had I sat down to plan it, I think I would have been more satisfied with it's appearance. I'm so proud of it because after taking the body of the bag apart once, ripping out a seam in the lining, sewing the handles nearly three times, and making 2 different flaps, I ended up with something I love. I'm also proud of it because I had never sewn a flap into a bag before, or even made anything resembling a backpack.

Oh, I forgot to mention. It's not just a handbag, it's a backpack too. :)

Have I learned my lesson? Will I sketch out my next project first? Will I measure anything out? Will I use a pattern? Will I take my time sewing? No probably not. But I have my seam ripper, and all the time in the world to take it apart.

The Great Target Boycott

2010-08-20T17:17:00.000-04:00

Probably the best flash mob I've seen in a while.

For more info on the boycott, and to sign the petition, please follow the link below.

http://pol.moveon.org/state/target/?r_by=-18059325-hEsKZmx&rc=paste

Ever Driven Into Gettysburg On A Sunday?

2010-08-08T11:01:00.003-04:00

Last weekend that's exactly what the hubby and I did.

We decided to extend our trip to PA by exploring Gettysburg which was only 45 minutes away from Shippensburg.

We arrived in the area mid-afternoon, stopping first to view a huge "drive-thru" battlefield. While I understand why the city would choose to have people tour the expansive field that way, I somehow felt a little weird touring a site of such horror by car in a single file line. The appreciation, and awe I had expected to feel when viewing this place only felt generic to me as we followed the helpful traffic signs directing us to our next location in the battlefield. I wondered silently if all the other battlefields were set up this way. It left a slightly bad taste in my mouth.

The battlefields were beautifully manicured ironically evoking a sense of calm and peace as we viewed it's hills. Sadly it was fenced off, preventing any exploring. It's many monuments standing serenely alongside the roads only gave it a national park feel. Funny, because I realize it's actually a "park" but I guess I was a bit disappointed.

We then decided to drive into town to find a hotel where we saw this!

Sidecars are awesome!!!!!!!

We found a hotel right in the center of town. We got a room, and quickly went off to eat, drink, and explore.

The Dutch influence of the surrounding counties was apparent in Gettysburg. And it was something that the hubby and I were both quite happy about. He got to have soft pretzels and beer during one meal for "the first time since (he was in) Germany." And I will not lie when I say I oogled, and fondled every set of hand-painted nesting dolls I could find.Yes I fondled them like a pervert, they were asking for it! They were so pretty. While I picked up an awesome souvenir, alas, I could not afford the coveted nesting dolls. We still had to get home, and I could not justify spending $80.00 on them.

So what's the problem with Gettysburg on a Sunday? Everything closes early!

There were a hand full of shops that remained open until they felt like closing up, but really, there wasn't anything to do. And while I can certainly understand why shop clerks want to go home, looking out my 4th floor window, the streets were packed with tourists like us with nowhere to go.

Now it has become a tradition for us to play the lottery in other states when we visit. I never, ever, ever win here in Ohio, but I always win everywhere else. Sometimes consecutively. So, with nothing to do, the hubby and I went to pick up some lottery tickets. When we happened upon this sign marking the spot of a historic hotel.

I snapped a few pics of the location.

I'm sure you can see why. However, the hubby, dumbfounded as to why I was taking photos of the 7-11 was quick to explain to me that the 7-11 wasn't the spot the sign referred to. It was the big house across the parking lot. Boy am I dumb...Or at least not very observant.

We continued to explore our immediate surroundings instead of visiting more battlefields.

We met Abe. Yes, we are now on an abbreviated first name basis with him.

We visited the house he stayed at while revising the Gettysburg Address.

The hubby was up all night helping him work on it.

I'm a bad model. Somehow I make it look like I'm having a hard time with my math homework.

I had to get a photo of some near perfect late 1800's embroidery. Sigh...someday my satin stitching will be almost as perfect.

I drooled over this.

We visited a tiny chapel.

**And payed a quick visit to the County Domestic Relations Office.**

I think I even found Waldo!

After all that, we went back to our hotel, where I witnessed the coolest thing. We were walking to the elevator when two women with rolly bags in front of us sped up to a light jog to reach the elevator before the door closed. The whole time exclaiming "HOLD THE LIFT, HOLD THE LIFT!" Yes they were English, and loving all things English, I automatically loved these ladies. The person inside the elevator did not "hold the lift" and let the door shut. One of the women turned to the other and purred quietly "charming." And that is why I love the English. They did not call the offenders any number of expletives, they simply, and sarcastically called them "charming."

O.k. so maybe that's not the coolest thing, but I am quite easily amused.

Really, we didn't do much there. We should have just spent the day walking around, and came home that night. It would have saved us $150.00 on a hotel. What we could have done was picked up the camper that was parked outside of a house on the way there. Yup, a camper quietly sat for sale in a front yard, unbeknownst to us for $150.00! We didn't notice it until we were on our way home. We could have hitched that sucker to our truck, and never had to pay for a hotel room ever again. Ugh! And all of that decorating I could have done.

The next morning we had to make our way home. Remember Breezewood? We stopped there for some lunch where I saw this bit of nostalgia.

I didn't think they made these anymore!

I realize now that road trips are one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. I couldn't imagine ever flying to any of the places the hubby and I have gone together. I think of all the things I would have missed in that airplane.

The hubby and I always talk about what whether we are going to purchase a home, or an R.V. And while most of the time a house wins out, I know that a house can't take us on adventures.

**Authors note** That is not how the hubby and I actually relate to each other domestically.

My Trip to a One Horse Town

2010-08-03T12:13:00.000-04:00

The hubby and I are fans of Steve Martin. So when he heard that Steve Martin was going on tour to perform bluegrass, he decided we were going.

He was scheduled to perform in a tiny town called Shippensburg PA. which really isn't too far away form us. 4 hours away I believe. So we booked our hotel room and took off for a few days.

This was our trip to Shippensburg.

One of the things I love most in life is souvenirs. I always tell myself I am going to start collecting those little spoons, or bells with the states on them, but for some reason I still haven't started. So I was pumped to hear of a weird place called Breezewood PA. It looked like a 4 block long truck stop. It was a sort of huge oasis for the road worn and weary, or those craving french fries as 3 a.m. When the hubby told me about this place I was interested. Then sure enough, I saw a billboard advertising a souvenir shop in Breezewood. We had to stop.

It was huge!

And it had everything!

Tiny thimbles,

an army of pigs,

even an arsenal of toy guns!

Huh?

While I will save my purchases for another post, I will tell you, I left without any tiny spoons yet again.

We meandered into Shippensburg quite quickly. After seeing the size of the town, we realized we were probably at the nicest hotel there. If not the only hotel there.

That led the hubby to believe that Steve Martin was probably somewhere in the building. He felt no shame in calling the front desk to ask if Steve was staying there. The clerk gave him a vague answer which once again led us to believe even more that he was indeed staying in our hotel. "They usually don't give their real names." The clerk told him in regards to his question.

We checked in, got to our room and saw this!

What is it?

It's an ashtray of course. I don't know if you're as surprised as I was, but here in Cleveland, you can't smoke anywhere anymore. Yes, I'm still smoking. :(

One of the first things the hubby does when we check into a hotel is look for the Gideons Bible. He usually makes a witty comment about it's presence in the room, then puts it back in the drawer. This time we not only found a bible, but we found this.

It was quite XTREME!

XHAUSTED from all that XTREME-ness, and a long drive, we went down to the hotel bar, took up residence at a patio table and had a bottle of wine. Our server brought us the wrong bottle, but we didn't care. He was awesome!

While sitting and enjoying our wine, we kept getting whiffs of something horrid. In fact, we had noticed it the minute we drove into town. It was manure! "Shit" to city slickers like us. We first thought it smelled because we had driven past about one million farms, but even sitting on the bar patio in the middle of town, we still smelled shit. The whole town smelled of it!

After the bottle of wine, we staggered back to our room. The hubby, still determined to find Steve Martin wandered through the halls calling out "Steve?" "Steve?" As if looking for a friend. We decided that he was staying here...

(That's some drunk photo takin'!)

The biggest room in the hotel. It was on the top floor near our room. Mr. Martin, if you were in fact staying at Shippen Place, I'm sorry for the disturbance.

We woke up the next morning to find many trucks pulling trailers of hay down "main street." Lots of hay. I wasn't quick enough to get any good photos, but there were quite a few trucks.

We had to go buy cigarettes so we found a pharmacy. I figured it was sort of like a CVS, or Walgreens so we could pick some up there. But no, it was an actual pharmacy.

While I'm sure there isn't much to do around town day in and day out, we found plenty of stuff to do to keep us occupied before the show.

A stack of trunks sitting outside of an unmarked store front caught my eye.

We walked in and I nearly puked from excitement! Antiques and vintage as far as the eye can see were stuffed in every single nook and cranny of this place.

I will admit. I usually get a bit nervous walking into places like this. The owners usually seem not so fond of assisting tattooed "kids" with their purchases, and I always feel like I annoy them when I go in to look around. Like I'm somehow not worthy of collecting old stuff. But the owner greeted us with a huge smile, and right off the bat, began explaining his entire inventory to us, his history of collecting, and how he finds what he sells.

While we were shopping two young men stopped in to pick something up. The owner greeted them, and asked them if they had "been to the hay sale yet." Ah. So that explains all the hay going up and down the street.

We also found a thrift store across the street form our hotel. They were having a sale! All the clothes you can fit in a paper bag for $3.00! OHMYGOSH!

We did some day drinking...

...and even found a pay phone. I didn't think those still existed!

We went back to the hotel to change for the show, where we saw a stack of pizza boxes outside of Steve Martin's supposed room. That only led me to believe, that it was not his room. In my mind Steve Martin doesn't eat pizza.

They warned us that we weren't allowed to take photos, so I was afraid that some bluegrass lovin' security goon would rip my camera from my hands, and proceed to crush it beneath their big feet should I even try to take pics.

The show was fantastic! I was disappointed when Steve left the stage during the set to take a break. I didn't pay to see a band without Steve Martin! Then my disappointment turned to anger when the band (without Steve) went into a 3 part harmony hymn. Now I REALLY didn't pay to see a band minus Steve Martin play religious tunes! But he had redeemed himself when he came back onto the stage, and sang a 4 part harmony song all about how atheists don't have any songs. Thank you Steve! We now have a song.

After the show we had even more drinks, and went to bed. The next morning, the door to Steve Martin's supposed room was left open as it's guests were packing up to leave. Sadly, but not surprisingly, it was a little league team in there the whole time.

Our trip to Shippensburg was great! It was by far the friendliest town we had been to. Even the guys at the local tattoo shop were friendly. I know it sounds like I have been making fun of this place by saying it smells like shit, and the hay sale was the biggest event of the week. But really, it was more of a culture shock to me. Hearing a horse clop down the street outside your window is quite startling, and seeing an Amish woman running her errands was weird.

I love a town where a beauty queen makes headlines...

...a signed picture of Michael Bolton hangs proudly on the wall of a bar...

...and where it's local citizens can be remembered for being "close to perfect."

It's somehow more honest.

Next up...our short trip to Gettysburg.

No Soliciting! Or, Why Your Sales Pitch May Not Be Working

2010-07-30T09:30:00.000-04:00

I live on a main road. So needless to say, I get solicitors of all sorts. Shortly after moving in, one gentleman thought it would be appropriate to walk right up onto my porch while I was enjoying my coffee to sell me something. He walked right up to my chair, put his bag down, and went flying into his schpiel. The minute I learned how often we get door to door salesmen, I put a sign up.

CAUTION SOLICITORS! ATTACK DOGS INSIDE! RABID DOGS WITH LASER BEAM EYES! WILL SHOOT TO KILL!

I didn't want to be mean, I just wanted them to leave me alone. And it worked. I would catch some of them reading it, laughing, then walking away without even knocking on my door. Not all ignored it however. One early morning I awoke to the ear piercing sound of my doorbell. It was 2 or 3 nuns who disregarded my "do not disturb" sign in hopes of converting me. When I opened the door, and pointed to the sign, they looked at me ever so sweetly and said "but honey, we're not selling anything." UGH!

One day, I took the sign down to clean the door. I guess it was my fault that the solicitors started knocking this summer. I forgot to put it back up.

I've gotten some interesting folks at my door since. A small doe eyed child selling candy while his heavily tattooed father no older than myself stood in the distance looking quite bored. Two wonderfully awesome young Mormon boys who didn't even try to pressure me into their faith. After I told them I was an atheist, they said "o.k. that's cool." Yes they said that, and moved on.

While getting people off of my porch usually isn't too difficult, I couldn't seem to remove my most recent visitors.

Two "gentleman" about my age were going door to door trying to get our street to change cable carriers. Even before the first one could go into his script, I told him I wasn't interested. In between explaining the plan, he and his friend injected bad jokes, and horrible puns about my barking dogs. One even looked inside my house, and around the corner and commented on the size of my t.v.!

He then began asking me all sorts of technical questions about my internet, cable, blah blah blah...And of course he was offering some sort of land line plan. Their fast-talking-used-car-salesman approach to the sale made me slightly sick. When I told him I still wasn't interested, he asked me if I had a land line. I told him no, and begun to shut the door. That's when he said it.

"Well of course you don't have a land line, you can't be any older than 21." That statement came complete with a twinkle in his eye, a big toothy grin, and even a small wink!

He seemed so proud of himself and his cheap flattery. I however was not impressed. I laughed in his face. Not an "oh why thank you" giggle, a full on laugh. Apparently their training includes lessons on how to inappropriately flatter their female customers.

Well I wasn't flattered. I was getting angry. The hubby asked why didn't I just shut the door on them. Well, I guess I like to think that most people can take a hint and turn around and leave after I say "I'm not interested." Although that's really not a hint.

I figured I must comply with their demands a bit in order to get them off my porch. I explained to them that they may feel free to leave some literature with me. The hubby and I could go over it together, and contact the company during our free time.

"We don't carry any literature with us." They said."But, we can come back later, say around midnight or so to talk with the both of you."

WHAT?! SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seeing the obvious terror in my eyes, they tried to laugh that awkward statement off telling me they weren't going to show up later.

I shut the door.

Later I put up a new sign explaining that any and all types of soliciting were not welcome at my home.

(It's really not cute. Perhaps I will make a new one and frame it.)

Sure enough, a week later the creep showed up back on my porch. I watched him through the window. He read the sign, then rang the doorbell. I tried to ignore it, but he must have looked in my window because I heard a "HELLO" right in my direction!

ARGH!!!

I had explained to him that unless he had any literature, I could not sign up for his plan. In fact, I had to tell him several times. After he saw that he wasn't getting anywhere with me he got desperate. He tried to guilt me into purchasing by explaining to me how hard it was going door to door in this heat. "This is how I make a living." He pleaded. HUH?

Could you imagine if I went to every one of my tables at work telling them I needed a really good tip because my job was hard, and I need to pay my rent?

Somehow I don't think that approach would work for me. And it didn't for him either.

I shut the door.

Dear Ewan McGregor,

2010-07-16T21:00:00.000-04:00

I love you.

That is all.

-Krista

Competitive Garbage Picking, and Why The Hubby Rocks!

2010-06-27T10:32:00.001-04:00

So here's the story of the Red Radio Flyer.

Last year, about this time. I had ordered some delivery from my favorite vegan joint. While I was peeking out the window to look out for the delivery guy, I noticed my across the street neighbor lugging out tons of stuff out onto their tree lawn. They must have been cleaning out their garage, 'cause I saw all kinds of awesome stuff.

Bicycles, patio furniture, tons of colorful balls, and a Red Radio Flyer. How great would that wagon look in my house?

Well to me, it looked like they were just loading all that stuff into their van for a camping trip, or a day at the park. The van was parked in the driveway with it's trunk open. So I was too afraid to go over there, and swipe the Radio Flyer. I didn't want to presume anything, and was also a bit afraid of going over to ask if the wagon was "garbage". So I prodded the hubby to go over and find out what their plan for the wagon was.

Well around that time, my food had arrived. So I put my yearning for the Radio Flyer on hold as I paid for my food, and tipped generously.

As I unpacked my lunch, I peeked outside and noticed that the delivery guy was walking across the street towards the neighbors house instead of back to his car. He picked up the wagon!!! AAARRRGGHHH! I sat stewing in anger watching him try to stuff it into the back seat of his car. I began to get a bit hopeful as he fought with it. He couldn't fit it in. HA! It would be mine after all. But my celebration quickly turned to defeat and anger as he jammed it in, slammed the door shut, and sped off. WITH MY WAGON!

NOOOOOO!

Well a year later, the hubby showed up with a Radio Flyer of my very own. Well, really it's his from his childhood. He says he used to tie his dog to it, and make the doggy pull him around.

Now it's holding my shoes. I really don't have a plan for it...yet. But I know it won't hold my shoes forever.

And then there's this...

An Army green, crinkle finish 1949/'50 White Rotary 77. He thought I would like it, and I do!

It's crazy heavy! Unfortunately, it doesn't come in it's original carrying case, and I'm not sure if it actually works. I did however, find a website that sells the original manual for it. Maybe someday I will get it working.

With a cord like that, I'm not going to test it out.

It came with a box stuffed with presser feet, and all kinds of vintage goodies. Perhaps I'll make a necklace.

Thanks for contributing to my budding hoarding problem boo. You always find the best stuff! :)

Gay Pride: Cleveland Edition

2010-06-27T09:52:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was Pride. I look forward to this day every year because I get to get dressed up all pretty, spend time outside with my two gay husbands, my wonderful actual one, and see people I almost never run into.

The place was packed. Way busier than I had seen it in the past.

I had brought my camera with me this year in hopes of photographing some of the local artists selling their creations, so I could highlight them on my blog. There were some great booths last year. Sadly, this year, there wasn't much besides an HRC booth, an AIDS task force booth, and an Overeaters Anonymous booth.

Boo Cleveland Pride!

But we still had fun. My best friend and his boyfriend brought their dog baby out for the day, and we couldn't go 10 inches without someone squealing "OOOOOHHHHH MY GOOOOOD! WOOK AT THAT WIDDLE DOOWG!"

We even got stopped in the middle of the street so someone could pet her. I guess I would have done the same thing though. She's soooooo cute! Later, she took a dump in the middle of the street which wasn't so cute. But it sure was funny.

I saw some interesting footwear...

And learned how not to load a drag queen into a car...

They set up a beer garden at the back of the park. I was dreading this area. I wanted to enjoy some drinks with my friends, but I remembered from last year that they only had beer. ( Lite beer even. Blech) And I can't have beer. So as I stood in line getting my I.D. checked, I reluctantly decided that one beer wasn't going to hurt me. Then I saw it. Wine! They had wine this year!!! At least Cleveland Pride got that right. Thanks.

We had some drinks, while Baby (The Widdle Dog) made some friends.

The main reason we went however, was to watch my best friend's boyfriend preform. He did a one man acoustic set of originals, and an Ani DiFranco cover. I've never been an Ani fan. I wonder if it's because I'm straight. I think there's a law somewhere that you have to be gay to like her. I'M KIDDING. Sort of. :)

I snapped a pic of some drag queens wishing him luck before he went on.

It's dresses like that, that make me wish I was a drag queen. Somehow, I don't think I could pull of that look as well as she.

I got a candid shot also...

...then he caught me, and posed.

Then he posed again later...

Overall, it was a beautiful day. We were supposed to get rain, but there wasn't even a drop to be found.

Good thing too. I wore my new vintage, pink and white gingham dress. Had I gotten even a bit wet, all of Voinovich Park would have seen my ta-ta's.

And of course I couldn't leave before picking up a souvenir.

I have been eyeballing that shirt for sometime now, and was pleased to see that the HRC still makes them.

Afterward, we went out for some Mexican. I got a tummy ache from too much yummy food, and syrupy margaritas. Which pretty much ended my day.

We had a bunch of fun, and I'm looking forward to next year.

Baby says..."Remember folks. If you don't like gay people, stop having gay babies!"

Woof!

A Little More Nonsense

2010-06-15T10:40:00.001-04:00

It's My Blog and I Can Do What I Want

2010-06-13T11:34:00.000-04:00

Even if it doesn't make much sense...

...woof

Is Ignorance Bliss?

2010-06-12T12:57:00.000-04:00

So you, my dear reader may know that I enjoy spouting my rambling, and at times, paranoid opinions on our government, religion, and other hot topics here on my blog.

But really, I'm quite fed up.

All this talk of gushing oil, legal racial profiling, people teabagging each other has really got me down.

So I have been choosing to play dumb. I have been consuming a minimal amount of current events out of fear that I will be caught in a social situation where any of these topics pop up. But really, I have mostly been reading celebrity news. Watching reality t.v. (Bethanny Getting Married? Anyone?) And looking at cute puppies doing adorable things on you tube.

While many people may call my viewpoints dumb, I don't think I'm actually dumb. But currently, I am choosing ignorance.

So bring it on second season of Jersey Shore! I really need you now.

I'll catch up later.

Adventures in Garbage Picking

2010-06-12T12:39:00.000-04:00

So I'm sure you all know by now that I love to garbage pick use-able furniture. The key word here is use-able. Is that even a word?

I love finding furniture in the trash, dragging home unwanted furniture from family member's homes, and just generally collecting strange things.

I have a confession. I am a 29 year old woman who still doesn't own a bed frame. Nope. I sleep like a dirty college student. On a mattress, on top of a box spring, on the floor. Yup. Bedroom furniture is expensive. I really don't care if I have a bed frame or not. Honestly, my bedroom is too small for a large piece of furniture such as that. However, I have always wanted a headboard. I love headboards!

And now I have one!

I found it on a tree lawn on garbage day. I saw it and yelled "HEADBOARD" and made the hubby turn the truck around to pick it up.

I promptly painted it with, what else? Chalkboard paint. I did a really bad job though. I got bored with painting it halfway through, and kinda sped my way through it. It looks fine as long as you don't stare at it for too long.

Now I feel like my much neglected bedroom is coming together.

I hung up some stuff, and finally got around to painting one of my mirrors.

My mother-in-law gave us her old patio set. Which I was quite happy to take.

I painted the chairs, but haven't quite gotten around to painting the table. It's still a bit dirty back there, and I feel like it's missing something. A lot of something.

See that HUGE fence in the background? That is my new best friend. It keeps me from having to talk to my drunk hillbilly neighbors, who drink allll day, fight with each other, yell at their dogs (I really don't blame their puppies for trying to run away every time they are let out of the house) cuss liberally and loudly, try to talk to me every time I set foot outside, and worst of all, listen to their music full blast at all hours. It's sad. Because of them, I am having a hard time enjoying open windows, and spending time with my dogs in the yard. Our houses are very close together. It's people like them that make me afraid to buy a house. What if I get stuck next to another "loud family"? (That's what my mother used to call those people.)

Can you tell I don't like them much. Don't get me wrong. They're very nice people. They just have very little regard for the people who are forced to live around them.

The other cool thing about that fence is that I got to keep a portion of the old fence.

Naturally I cleaned it off, and dragged it inside.

I'm so happy with it.

My Adventures In Embroidery and Other Crafty Things

2010-06-12T11:58:00.000-04:00

There's another reason why I haven't been blogging lately. I was embroidering almost everyday for 2 months straight.

The restaurant where I work has a wall where local artists can display, and sell their work. Well we didn't have a May artist, so I was asked if I could come up with anything. I'm still not the greatest seamstress. So I am still terrified to sell my sewn projects. I have nightmares of my work falling apart in my customer's hands. But there is something I can do that won't fall apart. I can embroider.

I don't have any pictures of my work that is still hanging, but I did take the time to make myself a few things.

I feel like after working on my projects for two months straight, that my work has improved. I have tucked away my sewing machine for a bit, and concentrated on my embroidering.

I found these awesome patterns at Urban Threads. They are intended for machine embroidery, but I did them by hand.

This one was particularly fun to do. It was highly detailed, and a bit challenging.

This one looked difficult, but was really quite easy, and didn't take very long to do by hand.

Now I have had this dress for many years. I picked it up at a yard sale. It reminded me so much of those awesome 90's granny dresses. I couldn't pass it up.

I ended up gaining tons of weight, and couldn't fit into it for several years. Good thing I held onto it, cause it fits me better now than the day I bought it. But it needed something.

So I stitched this pretty lady onto it.

She's not the best example I have. I stitched better ones which are still up for sale. But I still like her.

Maybe I will find her a man for the other side.

The only thing I need now is an awesome pair of combat boots to go with it. Darn you Dr. Martins and your liberal use of leather! You would go perfectly.

And lastly in the embroidery department. This zany bird is hanging in my bedroom.

I will admit, I copied. Boo Hiss.

I found this bird in a magazine, re-sketched it, added a border, and stitched it on for my visual enjoyment.

I had lots of fun making something purposefully sloppy.

Just look deep into his cooky, unfocused eyes.

A friend of mine has been trying to get me to take her fabric stash off of her hands. She gave up sewing, and wanted to get rid of it all. It made me sad that she was giving it up, because she was pretty good. Way better than me, that's for sure. She made tons of awesome tote bags. I have been refusing her offer for quite some time now, hoping she would pick it back up. But instead, she drove her fabric stash over to my house, and happily dropped all her fabric off. I gave in and took it.

Thank you Erica!

I found a cool way of keeping my trims organized.

I found a tiny ladder next out with the trash. So I hung it up, and ta-da.

And finally...I GOT A DRESS FORM!!!!!!!!!

I have only used her a little bit. I still have to properly pad her to match my measurements, and of course I have to name her. Until then, I am referring to her as my evil twin.

How I'm Living Like An Almost Healthy Hypocrite

2010-06-12T10:43:00.002-04:00

I'm baaaack...

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written here. To be honest, I really haven't had much on my mind. But just this morning, I've been hit with this overwhelming urge to blog. Yes I used "blog" as a verb.

I've had quite a few of you ask me how I've been, and how I've been feeling.

I'm fantastic!!! Thanks for asking. And thanks for thinking of me even when I haven't shown my face around here for a while.

The biggest thing that has been happening to me is learning how to change my habits.

When I made the decision to go gluten free, I was terrified that I may have to give up my vegan diet due to even more dietary restrictions. But I have been working very hard to create a diverse menu for myself so I don't get bored. I have also taken care to eat at the same times everyday. Eat more than 3 or 4 times a day. And eat as many nutrient packed foods as I can.

And boy, have I been eating a LOT.

My two biggest meals of the day are breakfast, and an early dinner. I always include...

Fruit...

Protein...

Beans and grains...

...best pasta ever by the way.

Nuts, seeds and at least 3 veggies.

Now of course I have my guilty pleasures.

O.k. so toaster waffles really aren't all that bad...until you suffocate them in butter and add chocolate chips on top!!! YES!

I have been taking my B12's every morning, which give me tons of energy. Half of one late afternoon carries me through my night shifts at work. Since taking those, I have been able to significantly reduce my coffee intake.

My biggest change though is taking up yoga again.

About 10 years ago, I was doing yoga 2 to 3 times a day every single day. Needless to say, I stopped. After this 50 lb. weight loss, I found it hard for me to lift things, push a full grocery cart around the store, and carry heavy plates full of food at work. My muscles had deteriorated from years of minimal activity. I had to do something. I felt it was time to renew my interest in yoga.

I'm now doing 50 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes everyday. Soon I will be super strong. :)

So how am I a hypocrite? I can't stop smoking! I hate it! Here I am preaching good health, veganism, and not allowing yourself to fall victim to huge corporations who don't have their consumers best interests in mind. And here I am smoking! I HATE IT!

Jesus hates it too...

Sorry Jesus.

Is My Blog Allowed During The Elimination Diet?

2010-03-27T08:58:00.000-04:00

Cause I have been ignoring it so long. It now feels like one of my much beloved foods I have banned until after next week.

In an attempt to self-diagnose a gluten allergy, I have put myself on an elimination diet. It has really become all consuming. So much so that I have been ignoring my blog even more than before.

My uncle said his adventures with the elimination diet brought him to the realization that he has a gluten allergy, so with a few weeks of research, and careful planning, I am doing the same.

What is the elimination diet?

It is a 2 week to month long diet eliminating all possible known allergens. Milk, gluten, soy...the list can go on. When one begins to feel better, the allergens are brought back into the diet slowly. The whole process is documented to pinpoint how one feels after eating the offending foods.

Now, since I'm not a doctor, or a nutritionist, I really had to do a lot of reading.

The problem with all the reading, is it seems many out there who have the information have an agenda. A few of the websites dedicated to the diet, are people who have a product to sell. So they only give you snippets of advice, then prod you to buy a book they wrote on the topic. I had to view many websites, and even scoured you tube for helpful advice. I then compiled a list of common diet "rules" and had to go it alone.

It's not just the allergens I had to eliminate. I also was instructed to eliminate processed foods, corn, fried foods, and a gaggle of other foods. Basically, I have to eat as plain as possible.

I'm losing my mind...I'm also starving. This whole experiment has consumed my entire life. :) I can't wait until it's over. Like clockwork my tummy starts to rumble every two hours. I can almost begin to tell the time by my hunger pangs. I have begun eating all day long. And eating around other people has become a great lesson in dealing with envy.

I have been documenting this whole thing to get a better idea of what is happening to me. I am watching my weight, and how I look, but paying close attention to how I am feeling.

It's really interesting to see the changes. If you remember a past post of mine on the trials and tribulations of being a female consumer in America, then you know I stopped wearing make-up. Over the past few months however, I have had to start wearing concealer again. Due to my anemia-like symptoms, I had developed red circles around my eyes, leaving me looking just plain sick. I had to begin covering them up to hide my crack-head like appearance. Now, they are slowly fading away. HOORAY! I am also waking up with much more energy, requiring less coffee in the morning. Perhaps I will be able to give up caffeine soon. While I have lost a pound or 3, I actually "look" my weight. Even at a slim 113 lbs before the diet, I was still a bit bloated looking, and puffy. I like to say I have deflated. My naps are slowly becoming a thing of the past, leaving me with more hours in the day.

I'm only a week into this experiment, and still have lots of healing to go. Several areas of my health can still stand to improve. But I have hope.

I really hope this experiment tells me I am gluten intolerant. While living with an allergy may be difficult, compared to how I was feeling, I am confident I can deal with the inconvenience of an allergy.

Not only has this taught me about my own body, but I have learned a lot about allergies themselves. As a waitress, people always ask me to leave the weirdest things off their dishes claiming a strange allergy. While I would take their request very seriously, and double check their order to ensure it has been left off, I would always scoff a little while notifying the kitchen. I was just under the assumption that the customer really, really hated onions (or some ingredient) and the only way they could ensure the kitchen would leave it off is if the claim they have an allergy.

Boy was I wrong. I had no idea just how many foods can cause reactions. Citrus allergies?! I had no idea. So I'm sorry to all who I scoffed at behind their backs. I believe you now. :)

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

2010-03-15T08:38:00.000-04:00

...One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the other
By the time I finish my song?

Yeah yeah, it's a bit creepy and gross posting a close up of my hair, but I had to document this. Just weeks before my 29th birthday, I found my first gray hair. Then I found more.

Why is this a big deal to me? Well finding it means that it has been a while since I have dyed my hair last, and I really haven't given coloring it again much thought. HOORAY! It was an addiction. I have been dying my hair since I first started with cherry Kool-Aid in Jr. High. And I love gray hair. I don't know why. I just do.

So hopefully I can keep from dying my hair anymore so I can see what happens to it.

Much Better

2010-03-15T08:24:00.000-04:00

Remember this thing I made?

Well it's finally gone. I'm glad too. As much as I liked it because it was weird, I also didn't like it because it was...just too weird.

I visited my family this weekend, and my sister sent me home with this bit of awesome usefulness.

...much better. No more hanging my potholders on a fallen tree branch.

And I have a place to put my fun kitchen stuff.

My awesome cookbook...

The recipe box my grandma gave me. I painted it in chalkboard paint, and added that little silver bit to the front of it. I still haven't sat down to actually transfer my favorite recipes to it yet.

And...OH NO...

There's that duck again

My kitchen looks a hundred times better. And once I'm finished with the gajillion embroidery projects I've started, I plan to paint the doors...with what else? Chalkboard paint of course. I have lots of ideas for it, so who knows what it will end up looking like.

Finally

2010-03-14T13:25:00.002-04:00

Sorry I keep changing my blog format on you all. I was just really unhappy with the way it looked before.

But I'm a happy camper now! Hooray!!!!

Thank You Rachel

2010-03-13T09:50:00.000-05:00

I'd like to say thank you to Rachel who posted a comment on my last blog post. She alerted me to the possibility that a gluten allergy could be causing not only my stomach pains, but my anemia-like symptoms as well.

From my understanding, a gluten allergy is hereditary. My grandma had cut out gluten years ago due to her allergy. So I did some reading.

Without proper health care, I am self-diagnosing myself with a gluten allergy. :)

I'm kidding...sort of.

With so many symptoms matching up, I have to give going gluten free a try.

Being vegan I already do most of my grocery shopping at our local health food store, who carries a vast array of gluten free products. Many of which I already purchase because many of them happen to be vegan as well. So I'm pretty confident I can breeze through my little experiment. However, I'm not looking forward to restricting my diet even more. It's already a pain in the fanny trying to figure out what to eat at the "regular" grocery store, and when dining out.

It can't hurt right?

Thank you again Rachel.

And thank you to all who commented on my last post. Many of you had some pretty rough stories. Which only reinforces in my mind, that the way we are doing things around here have to change.

And on a lighter note...I said fanny...hahahahahaha...yeah...I'm like a 5 year old. A coworker said it the other day, and I'm trying to work that awesome word into my daily vocabulary.

My Journey As An American Consumer With A Pre-existing Condition

2010-03-08T09:33:00.000-05:00

I haven't been posting here much for a little while now. And I must admit, if I have, it has been almost half hearted.

For the last few months, I have been tired. Really tired. 3 hour nap kinda tired. Along with the sleepiness, other symptoms have popped up that have led me to believe that I may have some sort of anemia. I started taking my B12's, and iron supplements more regularly, but they haven't really helped much.

So, I have to go to the doctor.

But I have been avoiding it. I am one of those 46 million Americans without health coverage. Without coverage, I can't afford those blood tests. Or treatment.

So I applied for coverage, not even considering the possibility of being denied by the insurance company.

I was denied.

Why? I knew why, I almost didn't even have to ask. But just to be sure, I asked anyway.

I spent a few days in the hospital in my early 20's for what some Hollywood P.R. Firms, or Marilyn Monroe's manager may call "exhaustion." I received treatment, and was sent on my way. For this, I was denied coverage.

I disclosed this on my application. Some people said, "why didn't you lie about it?" Well, I was afraid to lie. Had I lied, and been covered, and one day I decide to seek treatment for anything even remotely related to "exhaustion", the insurance company could find out my little fib, and choose not to cover my treatment anymore, or revoke my coverage completely. Leaving me with the bill.

Smart move on the part of the insurance company. I could wind up costing them money.

So after getting word of the denial, I decided to do a little reading on the interwebs. What I found upset me even more. According to the California Department of Insurance (I couldn't find the proper link for Ohio, but I can't imagine it is much different here) an insurance company will more than likely automatically deny coverage for someone with "major depression", while if you have "mild depression" they may accept you, but charge you a higher premium.

Other common liabilities *ahem* I mean, conditions that will get you automatically declined. If not, at the very least you'll get a higher premium.
*Cancer (under treatment)
*Heart Disease
*Obesity
*Ear infections (under treatment)
*Diabetes with complications
*Current infertility treatment
*Allergies (while testing is in process)
*Rheumatoid Arthritis

And how about these all encompassing, quite vague items that can really apply to anything. These too can get you denied coverage.
*Health problems for which you have not seen a doctor
*Health problems that a doctor cannot explain
*Health problems for which you have not completed treatment

The last time I had health insurance, I was maybe 19. I had it through my employer, and I was fully covered. For everything. After leaving that job, I haven't had coverage since. In that time, I had to utilize emergency rooms, and urgent care facilities. Urgent care is fantastic if all I have is a cold. It's cheap, and you get in, and get out. The only problem is not having prescription coverage. The emergency rooms are another story. I advise planning an emergency well in advance so you can take the day off work.

Truth be told, the possibility of anemia isn't the only thing I need a doctor for. Along with needing glasses for my failing vision, I have had stomach pains off and on for nearly 3 years now that have gone undiagnosed. I need to see a specialist, but cannot afford to. I have had doctors only shake their head at me after telling them I am not covered. They know how much I would be spending should I seek further treatment.

As a 28 year old American, the only debt I have is medical debt. Weird I know. I really should be drowning in credit card debt, or student loans. But I'm not. It's all debt I accumulated in the last 10 years because I can't afford to pay the cost of staying healthy.

Let's think of it this way. When I found out I was pregnant last summer, I had to get coverage. Medicaid will cover maternity costs as long as you meet the financial requirements. From what I understand, it doesn't matter what sort of pregnancy it is. High risk, cesarean, whatever. You will get coverage. *It's worth it to say, if you apply for regular insurance, and you, or your spouse are pregnant, you will more than likely be denied coverage.* In Ohio, "all pregnancy-related services" are covered through medicaid. They even retro-actively foot the bill for your pre-natal care prior to signing up for the program.

Sadly, before I had a chance to apply, I lost the pregnancy, leaving me to pay the pre-natal care, emergency room bills, and after care myself. Had I actually had my baby, and was covered through medicaid, it would have been cheaper. Go figure.

I filled out all the paper work needed for financial assistance after losing the pregnancy. But now 5 months later, I still have no word on if I am approved for assistance or not. All I know is the bills are still piling up, and I haven't so much as opened one. I don't want to open them. I can't afford them. I have to prioritize. What's more important? My electricity staying on, or my hospital bills.

The hubby and I are not poor. We work hard, and make money. We can afford to pay our way through life, with a little left over for a tasty I.P.A. at the end of the week. But the cost of health care simply isn't in my budget.

And it's the cost of unpaid health care that is stopping us from buying our first home.

I can't imagine what an American with a serious, chronic condition goes through...WAIT...my phone is ringing...HAHA what a coincidence...it's 9:02 a.m. on a weekday, that can only mean one thing. Someone want's me to pay up.

I never answer those.

Anyways. Talking about money woes, and health problems is sooooo tacky, isn't it? But I can't stop myself from doing it. The topic of affordable health care is all around us. And maybe, we need to hear these stories. Maybe we need to talk about our own. The stories are out there. Find them. Some are truly heartbreaking.

We are human beings who have a right to seek medical treatment. No matter what. We should be able to pay for it. I shouldn't ever have to worry about weather or not I can afford to pay for my medical care. I shouldn't have to ignore a health concern because I can't afford the cost of treatment. Nobody should.

And most of all, I should never, ever be at someone else's mercy. I shouldn't have to wait and see with fingers crossed if someone deems me one of the chosen few who can obtain affordable medical coverage. It is my body, and only I have a right to it.

We cannot be a strong nation until our bodies are strong first.

O.K.

2010-03-02T10:17:00.000-05:00

So I finished the dress last night. I'm really quite proud of myself.

(I know, it really doesn't look like much in the photo. Actually it kinda looks like a mu-mu, but I can assure you it doesn't look like that in real life.)

However, I think it is meant for a slightly smaller girl. It fits me, but not well enough. The arm holes are a smidge too small, and my jugs are a bit smushed in there.

But that's o.k.

Whenever I try a new project that I haven't done before, I always try to think of what else I can use the fabric for if it doesn't work out. Going into the project, I decided that if it goes completely awry, I will deconstruct it, and make an apron for work. I still have over a yard of this awesome fabric, and I can salvage the zipper, so I'm still good.

But I'm glad I tried this. I was able to practice darts...

...and install yet another zipper. My zippers are still not perfect. I need to stop avoiding them, and practice them more.

Of course the zipper doesn't match the dress. That would be silly. You can always tell when I made something, because there's always a detail that isn't quite right. :)

The dress was really simple to make. I am confident that I can use the old pattern as a template for drafting a pattern that will fit me. it'seileen had a great suggestion about making a muslin mock up first. I really should have thought about that. Strangely, I was eyeing some muslin yesterday afternoon, but passed it up when I couldn't think of a thing that I would need it for. Silly me. I should know better.

Thank you to all of you who told me I could iron my pattern pieces. I was able to fold them up quite nicely, and put them away after the debacle was all over.

I really shouldn't call it a debacle. I was amazed by the ease in which I finished it. I had no problems. Other than trying out a zipper foot for the first time.

I own quite a few of these jumpers, and I am glad I was able to actually put one together. I'm looking on the bright side here, can you tell?

So tomorrow, my jumper will become an apron. After that, I vow to myself that I will finish the pillows that I have been making. No more distractions.

Thanks for all the help.

Dress Form, Or No Dress Form

2010-03-01T20:04:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna make this dress. I just hope it doesn't go the way of my quilt.

Wish me luck.

Playing With My Camera And How I Am Betraying My Blog

2010-03-01T09:52:00.000-05:00

I ran across an interesting article on adjusting your camera's settings for better photos. So I thought I'd play with my camera a bit. I'm not sure if my photos are any better looking, but I did notice a weird feature that I hadn't seen before.

Woah! What do you suppose that feature is for? I didn't know my camera could do that.

So how am I betraying my blog you ask? Well, I bought this over the weekend...

Yup, it's a pattern. But not just any pattern. It's a jumper pattern. Perfect for me because I love dressing like a 5 year old. :)

I picked it up for $1.50 at my favorite vintage shop. I am pretty positive it will fit me. It looks like everything is in there.

I do have a few questions though if anyone can answer them. It looks like the pattern was just kinda shoved back into the package. While there aren't any rips in it, it is a bit crinkly in places. Does anybody have any tips for smoothing them out?

I also want to know. How difficult is it to make a well fitted garment without a dress form. I still don't have one yet. Can I get away with making a dress from only this pattern, or should I wait until I pick one up?

Any advice would be helpful.

Also, thanks for your comments on the great blog revamp of 2010. I worked on it diligently yesterday morning, trying to add some kind of color to it. I was able to utilize my extremely amateurish photoshop skills. It's not perfect, but for now, it will have to do.

Happy Monday.

I'm Embarrassed

2010-02-27T13:11:00.000-05:00

I'm embarrassed about how much time I have spent on the computer today. I will only say that it took me all morning.

I had the grand idea that I would give my blog a little makeover. I made quite a mess of it before I was all done.

I wanted to clean it up a bit, but now I'm afraid I lost something.

I don't know what it is...

It's a little...bland.

I dunno, what do you think?

Did that help?

Ugh...

Don't Embroider Before Bed

2010-02-23T09:10:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night. A woman wanted to commission me to embroider something freehand...on her back.

Since it was freehand, and she didn't have a design in mind, I kept stitching on her skin, looking at my work, and pulling the stitches out.

Until finally, I found a design I liked. When I stepped back to admire my work, she began writhing in pain. In fact, it was the first time she moved during my stitching.

The thick floss I was using began to burn her skin. She started screaming as smoke began twirling above the holes in her back.

What was probably the scariest part about the dream to me, was not the fact that I was embroidering on her back, nor was it the possibility that I hurt, and permanently scarred her. What I was most afraid of was her contacting the authorities, and getting me in trouble.

Upon realizing I could get in serious trouble for injuring this woman, I said "this is a dream, and I won't get into trouble."

I woke up...with the hiccups.

I guess crafting isn't always sunshine and roses. I look at it this way though, at least I'm not a welder, or a glass blower. Who knows what my twisted mind would dream up if I were.

This is what I was working on right before I went to bed.

It's just one pillow cover in a series of new covers that I'm working on.

It will forever be known as "the nightmare pillow."

Good Hair

2010-02-21T12:40:00.000-05:00

I had a hair weave. Well, a few hair weaves. The first one I ever had was for a fashion show I modeled for put on by my employer. That weave was crazy! But so was my actual hair. My real was hair dyed black and blonde with a skunk stripe in my bangs, and the loooong black and blonde weave only made it look crazier.

The weave took my shoulder length hair down to almost my waist, and it was teased, and crimped, so I'm sure I gained an extra 5" to my height. Imagine Christina Aguilara from the Dirrty video. Only way scarier. At one point a friend thought it would be funny to talk me into braiding some fake plastic M16 bullets into it. Yeah, I did that.

I had a hard time living with my first weave. Once the glue dries, I swear it shrinks up so tightly around your head. It feels like a teeny tiny hat that you can't take off. It's itchy too! If you scratch right on your tracks, you run the risk of pulling on them, or on the glue which may loosen them. So you can't actually scratch an itch, but you can vigorously tap them, or stab yourself once with your fingernail to relieve the itching. Washing your hair is a challenge. I would only wash the ends of my hair, and my bangs where there weren't any tracks, and once all that extra hair got wet, the weight of the water would actually pull my head back some. Sleeping with a weave was a nightmare.

My best friend did the weave for me, so I never went to a salon for weave maintenance. I never bought any kind of glue remover, so I just kinda had to "wait the weave out". Eventually the glue would loosen, and the tracks would start to fall out. But not before some of the tracks began dreading into my own hair. Yeah, my hair was terribly dry due to years of bleaching. I'm sure some of you out there know that extremely dry hair can dread up a bit over night. Ugh.

My first weave was an experience, but it didn't stop me from going back.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I finally got to see "Good Hair", a documentary by Chris Rock. Yes Chris Rock did a doc., and it was not only hysterical, but it was also enlightening.

Chris Rock says his inspiration was his young daughters. One of which came home one day to ask him why she didn't have "good hair."

*Now when I put good hair in quotations, I am using it the same way Chris uses it. For the sake of this post, "good hair" refers (ironically) to caucasian hair. I say ironically because most white women don't even like their own hair.

The media tells me I have "good hair" all the time. Because I'm white. I have long swingy, shiny, bouncy, soft hair. But that hasn't stopped me from trying to achieve any number of looks through out the years. Long hair, short hair, dying, curling, flat ironing, perming, razor cutting, and drying solutions to change the texture of my hair, yes, even the weaves.

As a white woman, I am bombarded with images every day pointing out my short comings, and my flaws, and I learn from many different places how to fix them. For me, as long as I don't mind risking damaging processes, and a bit of money, I can have pretty much any hair I want.

But for black women, the process isn't as simple. They are told every single day that their hair needs to be something completely different from what it is. It needs to do things that nature simply won't allow. While I can get a simple razor cut to change the texture of my hair, black women have to go through much more expensive, and damaging procedures to change theirs.

I was excited to see this doc. when I first heard about it. I have always wanted to see the ins and outs of what black women go through to get the coveted "good hair." I do get a little peek once in a while though. My best friend is Mexican. He has crazy curly hair (which I love) but he doesn't always love it. I have been there as his follicles suffocate under a blob of relaxer.

As a white woman, I know what we go through with our own hair, but black hair has always fascinated me. Admit it white women, you are a bit intrigued too. I am fascinated because I love black hair. Really, I love any hair that isn't mine. But there is something about black hair. And I'm not talking about Beyonce's hair. I'm talking about long swingy micro braids ala Brandy, tight little springy curls, dreads, or big bouncy afros. I love black hair when it's worked naturally. But even if it is worked naturally, the procedures can still be painful, and time consuming.

Heehee, I love that head up there. :)

Like I said, I like any hair that's not mine. But I suspect that's because I am told regularly that I am not beautiful unless I consume beauty products, and procedures. And even then, there is another product right around the corner that will make me more beautiful, so I can't possibly be as beautiful as I could be if I used another product. But I've already discussed my opinions on that. :)

Chris travels all over trying to understand the importance of hair to black women. He visits beauty parlors, and salons to speak with women who actually put their hair on layaway.

He speaks with men at barber shops about their wives hair, asking them if they are allowed to even touch it during sex. He speaks with many female celebrities about their own hair. Most of which have "good hair". Some even admit to not even touching their own hair for fear of messing it up. A highlight for me was when Pep from Salt and Pepa explained how she ended up with the asymmetrical cut from the "Push It" video after a relaxer accident. I always loved that hair cut on her.

His interviews with celebrities eventually take him to India where much of America's weaves come from. Indian women grow their hair out, shave it off as a religious sacrifice (some of it is shaved solely to make a profit, and some is actually stolen in the night), where it is in turn sold here to women.

He visits a chemist who shows him what the chemical make up of relaxer can do to a soda can and a raw chicken. He even follows several stylists who compete for a title in the largest hair show in America.

But between the jokes, and silliness that Chris is known for, photos of his two little girls continuously flash on the screen. Their beautiful faces cheesing for the camera, and their untouched hair looking just as beautiful.

My good friend's daughter is half black. Her hair has always been long with natural springy curls. She is getting older now, and I haven't seen her in a little while. I fear the day that the media finally gets to her. I fear that one day I may see her, and not recognize her and her beautifully natural hair. But then, maybe that's just me. I prefer to see people as natural as possible.

Being a white woman, I can never understand what it is that black women put themselves through daily to achieve a certain standard of beauty. To white women, hair can be very important, but my hair will never be to me, what black hair is to some black women.

What I can understand though, is that feeling of never measuring up. Never feeling beautiful enough. Black, or white, when will we women take back our self-esteem. Will we ever love ourselves the way we are? Or is there no going back?

My New Improvised Bag

2010-02-20T13:05:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I made another bag.

This time I used this tote tutorial from Smile and Wave.

How cute is that bag?!

I knew I had to make one.

It had the pleating detail on the sides, which is something I have been wanting to try, and I really liked the binding at the top.

So this is what I came up with.

I got this awesome fabric from Nauvoo Quilt Co. on Etsy, and knew it would be perfect for this project. By the way, my fabric was shipped so fast, and she tied a little scrap fabric bow around my folded fabric, only enticing me to buy more. I wish I took a picture of it.

Any who...the fabric is a typical cotton fabric, and sadly, I am out of interfacing. So I improvised. In order to give it shape, and stiffness, I used a heavy cotton for the lining. It worked perfectly. The funny part was, not only was I out of interfacing, but I didn't have enough of the blue fabric for the lining. So I used another fabric of the same weight.

The pocket was made from a patchwork project that I botched earlier this week.

And since leather is out of the question for me, I used the same heavy cotton for the handles, and the fat binding at the top.

Yes I fashioned some binding myself. I had never tried it before.

Even though I didn't have everything exactly as I should have for this project, but it still came out perfect enough for me. The bag is HUGE, and roomy. Just the way I like my bags.

Congratulations Cleveland!

2010-02-18T18:47:00.000-05:00

Forbes dubbed you America's Most Miserable City in 2010!

Time to celebrate!

And The Winner Is...

2010-02-17T13:03:00.000-05:00

VEGKAT!!! Be sure to check out her blog, and her Etsy shop.

Hooray! Shoot me an e-mail so I know where to send your prizes, and maybe lurk in your bushes while you cook dinner.

How you were picked.

I wrote all of you down on widdle bits of paper.

Folded all of you up.

Since I don't have a fancy hat to draw your names from, I used my favorite mug.

I put you all in there.

Gave it a good shake.

And crammed my hand in there to scoop you out. Is it just me, or does my hand look older than it should?

Ta-Da!

Then I threw you all in the recycling. Which I should have taken out last night, but I forgot.

Sorry this was announced so late. My camera died this morning.

Here's a few honorable mentions from the non-cussing cuss word survey.

Of course screaming MOTHER is one of my favorites, and it seems to be a favorite of others. Crissy of Crissybell's Musings & zerohaught of Alicia & Atticus are fans of yelling MOTHER!

Michelle's use of the unassuming word lollipop has me giggling.

And...

Rocaille likes to use a word "that roughly translates as 'chicken' due to its similarity to the most popular Polish swear word". I will have to start yelling OH CHICKEN whenever I stub my toe from now on.

Congrats VegKat! And thank you all for reading.

Vintage Maps Are Cool

2010-02-15T18:26:00.000-05:00

...yup...they sure are.

How I Met Your Father

2010-02-15T18:10:00.000-05:00

I lived up the street from a bar. So I was there a lot. Sometimes alone with a book at happy hour, and sometimes with my best friend.

This particular time, I went with my bestest friend.

We had to bartend together during the Super Bowl one year, since we don't really like sports, we thought it would be funny to holler at the players at inapropriate moments. Like during a commercial, or when the ball went sailing through the air before anything actually happened. It was funny. Anytime we yelled "OOOOHHHHH!" or "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the wives stuck at the bar while their husbands watched the game, laughed really hard. So we did this quite often.

This time we yelled at the speed skaters during the Winter Olympics at my regular bar. We cheered as they rounded the turns, and booed them for no reason.

We must have drawn some attention to ourselves because a handsome gentleman came over to me to tell me how much he liked the jacket I was wearing.

Yeah that one. Come on! That jacket is bad ass! Of course it had fewer holes in it at the time, but I was very proud of it. I wore it EVERYWHERE. I even slept in it. That jacket had been with me for most of my adult life, and it's not going anywhere soon. I was so bad ass.

On second thought maybe I was just scary.

The handsome gentleman and his friend sat down with us, and yelled at the speed skaters right along with us.

He drove me home that night, and wouldn't even let me give him a sloppy, drunk kiss at the end of the night. He just gave me a hug. awwwwww. What a good guy.

And the rest is history.

So between Valentines Day, and the Winter Olympics, we are filled with gobs of gooey nostalgia.

AWWWWWWWW. puke. :)

My Duvet Cover Tutorial

2010-02-15T17:12:00.000-05:00

I had this blanket that was given to me a few months ago. I enjoyed it for a bit, but it was time for a change.

Since it still worked just as well as any other blanket, the thought of buying another blanket seemed silly to me.

So I searched for a duvet cover. I searched high and low at the thrifts shops every time I went. Most were funny looking. Not "Krista" funny looking, but just funny looking. And even at the thrift shops, they weren't cheap.

The hubby and I went to our favorite vintage shop this weekend, where I found this.

I was slightly intoxicated as we had just left a bar celebrating the anniversary of when we met. The shop was also closing in 5 minutes! 5 MINUTES! I had to scoop up whatever I could, and fast! I ran straight for the little closet where they keep all the vintage cloth, curtains, and bedding. In my haste, and a bit woozy from the spirits, I picked up a package of unopened bedding. I read the front...

WOW! A fitted sheet, a flat sheet, and a pillow case! I scooped it up and rushed to the counter.

It wasn't until I got home and read the package carefully, that there was only a flat sheet in there. BOO!

So, with no use for one flat sheet with nothing else to match it, I made a duvet cover for my old blanket, and a tutorial to go along with it.

**How to make my duvet cover**

*What you need*

*Two flat sheets. And an optional third one. I will explain the third sheet later.
*A yardstick, ruler, or measuring tape.
* Scissors.
* Pins.
* A blanket you want to cover.

First, Take the two flat sheets you would like to use for your cover, and place them right sides together. Make sure you smooth them out , and line up the edges really well.

Next, pin them together along the edges of three sides. You are going to leave the top (finished) part of the sheets open for stuffing your blanket in.

Now, sew along all three sides. Be sure to leave a tiny seam allowance. I left about 1/4". You want your finished cover to fit over your blanket, and be soft, and roomy. The sheet I found was left un-hemmed along the sides. That's why it looks like I didn't line up the edges. I love it because now I have more scraps!

**This part is for the optional third flat sheet. I only used it because I didn't have any twill tape to produce ties as closures for the cover. I also noticed I had a twin sized sheet that I have no use for. Until now. :) You can substitute twill ties, or ribbon for this part if you would like**

Now, Take your third flat sheet, and cut along one long side, right above the finished hem. This way, you won't need to sew anything. I'm so lazy.

Cut the strip into 5" strips. I have a queen size bed, so I cut 12 5" strips total.

Line, and pin 6 of your strips up on one open end of your cover about 1/2" in. Keep them an even distance apart to ensure neatness. Now do the same with the remaining 6 strips on the other side of your cover. Be sure to line them up with the others (one on top of the other) so you can tie them together.

Now, stitch them on.

Turn your cover right side out, shove your blanket in there, tie it up, and you're done!

Oh, I forgot the most important step. Place neatly on your bed, then come back later and find your bubbas playing on it.

Ties are only one way to close up your cover. You can also use buttons, snaps, velcro, or zippers. I had originally planned on using a ton of mismatched buttons, and ric-rack as closures, but as soon as I lined it all up, it looked even more juvenile than I could handle. I even took a pic of it for the tutorial because I hadn't decided what I wanted to do yet.

A Little Monday Morning Awesomeness

2010-02-15T09:34:00.000-05:00

Don't forget, my 100th post giveaway ends tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. est. And I will announce the super special grand prize winner Wed. Feb. 17th.

Until then, please bask in the awesomeness that is this Etsy shop. I highly suggest you stop by, and visit. It will be worth your time.

I Got So Excited I Forgot To Press, And The Story Of How I Copied

2010-02-13T13:34:00.000-05:00

You all know that I went fabric shopping last week. I bought a fat quarter of some pretty pink fabric, with a light pattern on it. I knew it would be perfect for embroidering.

I was so excited to embroider on it that I forgot to press it first. Now it's creased. Boo. But I still love it.

I tried out a new stitch for the leaves. I did them free hand, so some turned out better than others.

I cut out the humming bird from some fabric, and instead of appliqueing like normal, I secured it by filling in the negative spaces with tiny french knots. I always love when I see other using french knots as a filler. It adds an interesting texture to the project. I'm going to try this again on a much bigger scale.

I made a little sampler of sorts.

I used the words "curiouser and curiouser" from Alice In Wonderland because, well, it's a curious little project.

I really just wanted to practice some tiny little stitches. And they are tiny! You really can't even see what it is when it's hanging on my wall.

I also did a cluster of weird little stitches at the bottom.

And finally, I copied. *Hangs head in shame*

My favorite thing about learning to do things yourself, is when I walk into a store, look at something I like and say, "I'm pretty sure I can make that myself." It is an even more triumphant moment when I can actually make something similar.

But this is where the guilt comes in. I was browsing on Etsy as I often do after reading all of my favorite blogs. Not to buy, just to window shop. Usually, when I find something I like on Etsy, I will snatch it up. I love supporting other artists. However, I saw an awesome wall hanging that I knew I could make myself. I had all the supplies I needed, so the project would basically cost me nothing, which was much more appealing to me than making that purchase.

The wall hanging that I saw was so beautiful, and unique. But the colors, and styles that were available just weren't "me". I needed something brighter, and more bold. So here's the one I made for myself.

I shaped the flowers a bit differently.

And used a dark blue denim as my background.

I'm not completely sure if I made mine the way the artist made theirs. But I do know that my way worked out pretty well. While I am happy to have this bit of sunshiney awesomeness hanging on my wall, I feel a bit unoriginal, and a lot like an uncreative copy cat.

Sorry awesomely creative Etsy seller. :(

My Shower Curtain Only Strengthens My Opinions

2010-02-13T11:54:00.000-05:00

The hubby found this awesome shower curtain some time ago at our local vintage shop.

It's a huge replica of the front page of the New York Times Dec. 6 1933. I have looked it up in the Times archives. It is the front page. How cool!

The two biggest stories that day were the repeal of prohibition, and the Lindbergh flight from Africa to Brazil.

I have the entire shower curtain memorized. Really I do. But I really haven't looked closely at it until recently.

The Times ran an article on the Lindbergh flight over the South Atlantic, documenting not only the flight, but giving Mrs. Anne Morrow Lindbergh credit for keeping the world below their airplane informed on what was taking place as they flew high above the ocean.

To think that there was a time when flying in an airplane was a news worthy event is astounding to me. :)

But what I had never noticed before was how the reporter referred to her. Not as Mrs. Anne Morrow Lindbergh, or Mrs. Anne Lindbergh, or whatever. They simply referred to her as "Mrs. Charles A. Lindbergh". Her husbands name.

The topic of changing a woman's last name to that of her husband's is a great topic of conversation in the No Patterns household. You see, before we got married, I had no problem changing my last name to the hubby's. He has an awesome last name. But as the time passed, and the day to change my name grew nearer, I started feeling a bit weird about the whole practice.

I actually HAVE to change my name? But I like my name just fine. It's my name. It's part of who I am. It's my family. It's me. I felt like a bit of myself would simply vanish along with the word used to identify me for 27 years.

Sure I may be a bit dramatic about the name change, but I simply cannot seem to bring myself to reduce my name to something of the past. Like bad fashion choices, and lousy ex-boyfriends.

Of course the hubby is none to thrilled with my decision to keep my last name. I know how important it is to him for me to change it. Every so often I think about changing it to surprise him.

But I can't bring myself to do it.

I understand it is tradition to adopt the family name of the husband. You pass it off to your children, and you live as one happy same named family.

But why do I have to change my name? Why can't the hubby? Well he doesn't want to because like I said before, his name is awesome. I could simply hyphenate my name. But once again, why do I have to be the one to change my name simply because I am a woman, and that is what tradition tells us to do? I have told the hubby I would hyphenate my name if he hyphenated his, but again, he doesn't want to because his last name is awesome. :)

I had the novel idea that we simply make up a last name, and pass it off onto our children so we could live as our own special clan. Nobody would have anybody else's last name. Only a brand new made up one.

I go back and fourth over this in my head from time to time. Some days I think I can change my name, but other days I feel like I shouldn't have to.

And the New York Times article about Anne Lindbergh only reinforced my decision to keep my name.

She was not Anne Lindbergh anywhere in the whole article. She was Mrs. Charles A. Lindbergh. Not even a shred of her name was published. She was not identified as a separate person. She was identified as her husband. The only way we, as readers could tell if she was being referred to was the "Mrs." If there had been no "Mrs." it would have simply said "Lindbergh" identifying her husband.

The fact that women even go from "Miss" to "Mrs." bothers me as well. The men don't change their prefix. There's no form of "Mr." that identifies a man as married. At least that I have heard. I feel like it's an outdated practice used by men to "stake their claim" over a woman so to speak. That woman belongs to them, and she has the name to prove it.

I'm not trying to put down any woman who changes their name to that of their husband's. I just don't feel that it's right for me. I know I will find a solution that we will both be happy with one day. I just have to get creative.

How did you feel when you changed your name? Did it weird you out, or were you fine with it?

I love that shower curtain.

**Silly sidenote** The hubby and I decided after a night of drinking that we would change our last names to A'sauras. Like dinosaurs. I was pumped because he sounded totally down for the whole thing, until the next day after we sobered up. Back to the drawing board.

That Fabric Gave Me A Headache

2010-02-06T10:19:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to try embroidering on a print for a while now. I was always afraid that if I chose the wrong print, or the wrong shade of floss, or the wrong subject matter, that the image would simply disappear into the fabric.

So I tried using a bold print, dark floss, and a simple image as an experiment.

Hooray! It worked.

However, the longer I embroidered, the more the pattern began to play tricks on me.

What started out as this...

...ended up looking to me like this.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Seriously, stare at it for a bit.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I think it gave me a headache.

Re-building The Stash

2010-02-06T09:54:00.001-05:00

I've never been the kinda person who actually sets aside money for things that they want. I either buy stuff when I want it (suffering from severe bouts of buyers remorse afterwards) or I don't buy anything at all. More often than not, I just don't buy anything.

With my money a bit tight, I eliminated the really frivolous spending. Ordering take out, a few beers here and there, making grocery lists instead of blindly purchasing food that I may already have.

So I have been setting aside some of the extra cash that I would have been spending, and over the last few weeks my savings has grown.

Yesterday, I removed a very modest amount from my savings, and went to the fabric shop. As I was having my fabric cut, I got the obligatory "what are you working on?" from the sales associate. I didn't have any projects in mind, I was just building my fabric, and trim stash. So I said "nothing really."

This idea of buying stuff without having any clue as to what I will actually do with it is really out of character for me.

As the fabric was being cut, I waited patiently for the wave of pre-buyers remorse to overcome me. I usually hit a wall during the cutting where I can almost feel myself begin to yell "STOP! WAIT! DON'T CUT THAT! I don't need it." In fact I get this feeling at a check out counter too when shopping for anything. It feels like the point of no return. The fabric will be cut, stuff will be rung up. And there's nothing I can do about it, but reach into my wallet and pay.

It makes me sound terribly cheap, but I can assure you, I'm not. I just really hate consuming for consumption's sake.

A strange thing happened to me though. I waited, and waited for that feeling of guilt as my fabric was being cut. It never came. It also didn't come as my selections were being rung up. In fact, I never felt guilty about my purchasing at all.

Why? Because I saved for it. All my other obligations have been taken care of, so why not spend a little money that I set aside for the purpose of spending. What a novel idea.

I don't know why it never occurred to me before.

So what did I buy? Not a whole lot (that would be waaaay out of character for me) A snow storm hit Cleveland last night as I was shopping, so I bought some bright, cheerful supplies that really made me happy.

I even bought this tacky mess that I couldn't seem to stop looking at.

And I finally got my embroidery floss organized.

Well, almost organized. I didn't buy enough little cards.

Strangers Aren't All Bad

2010-02-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

Strangers. They cut in front of you in line while you're waiting for your morning coffee, they don't hold the door open for you as you enter behind them at the post office, they try to mow you down going 35 through a red light, they call you a liar, and tell you that you are going to hell while you meekly attempt to purchase feminine hygiene products.

...yes that has actually happened much to the entertainment of myself, the cashier, and everybody in line.

But sometimes, they send you an e-mail offering to fuel your addiction when you're a bit flat in the wallet.

After whining about my depleted fabric stash here on my blog, I received an e-mail asking, almost begging :) me to take some fabric off the hands of one of my faithful readers.

mab, author of The mab Blab ( mab, spelled in all lowercase "because she wants it that way") and owner of Etsy shop la*le Style says her house is engulfed in fabric, fearing for the lives of her children at the hands of her extensive fabric stash.

I never have been one to turn down free anything. So I happily accepted the offer.

I received the package this week, and boy was I a happy girl.

First, the package was hysterical.

Second, the fabric is right up my alley. I can't wait to start sewing this weekend.

Third, she included some beautiful lengths of lace, and some buttons.

How cute are these buttons? Wait, I think I'm about to puke from cute overload.

I promptly sat down to make myself a bracelet out of one of these buttons, so I can stare at it, and admire it's cuteness all day long. A cat in a sombrero! Cute, and nonsensical. I LOVE IT!

Thank you a hundred times mab. I may not know you, but you sure aren't a stranger anymore.

May I Say Congratulations To Me? A Celebratory Giveaway!

2010-02-02T16:39:00.001-05:00

Yes my friends, this is officially my 100th post!

While I could be celebrating alone with reality t.v. and a slice of vegan pizza, I have decided against it. In fact I feel like a giveaway is in order.

Why?

Well, without you guys there to read about my wacky projects, my paranoid rantings about government subsidies, and overlooking my bad grammar, I wouldn't have much fun posting.

Here's what I am giving away.

My favorite accessory. The re-useable shopping tote. I can't stop making these!

Made out of a sturdy home decor fabric, it is big, roomy, and strong. It is red and white gingham, with a denim panel behind the pocket. I added a wonky "hello" applique to the pocket. This bag screams "KRISTA MADE ME!"

Many of you may not know that I had an Etsy shop once upon a time, where I sold pinback buttons. So I made a few just for this giveaway.

You also get your choice of one of the following.

A morbidly honest quote from Oscar Wilde.

"A true friend stabs you in the front."

Or, if a bit of gore isn't your thing, you may choose this next one inspired by one of the best commercials ever.

For the sake of this project, those are not pom poms, they are cooties.

**Here are the rules.**

You get one entry for leaving me a comment on this post, and telling me your favorite non-cussing phrase that you use in place of cussing. You know, like when you slam your fingers in the cupboard, and your kid is around, and you so badly want to swear, but you can't.

You also get an entry for writing a post on your blog and linking back to this post. Be sure to leave me a comment with the link if you do post.

You can do one, or the other, or both.

That's it...easy enough right?

The giveaway ends on Tuesday Feb. 16th 10 a.m. est. The winner will be announced Wednesday Feb. 17th.

I do have to apologize to my international readers. Funds are tight around the household, and shipping to certain countries can be expensive. :( At this time, I can only keep my giveaway open to U.S. readers.

But don't fret. This won't be my last giveaway.

Giving My Kitchen Some Love

2010-02-01T08:50:00.000-05:00

So Like I said before, I have been saving up fabric money. This project is one of the reasons why.

I found the easy tutorial for it at Craftzine. It was authored by Hannah. Remember her with her super duper cute blog? Knick Knacks & Ric Rac. Yeah, I'm a creepy blog stalker, but I don't care, I have a cute new rug in my kitchen.

Lucky for me felt was on some kind of crazy sale so I picked up a bunch, without dropping too much cash.

I needed something in my kitchen. It's kinda drab in there, and one of the promises I made to myself this year was to cook a lot more. I want more control over what the hubby and I eat. That means learning to cook.

So with my new rug in place, and my kitchen nice and cozy, I got straight to work baking the bread, and making my morning granola for the week.

This next bit is a glimpse into my brain, and how sometimes I just don't think fully before I get an idea.

Not only do I want more control over what we eat, but I also want to reduce the amount of disposable packaging that I toss in the recycling each week. The idea was, if I take the two things that I eat the most (bread and cereal), that come in disposable packaging, make them myself, and store them in reusable/recycled containers, I would be doing a good thing.

Well not so much. It didn't occur to me until after all the shopping was finished, and I put all the ingredients away, that while I didn't have cereal boxes, and bread bags to dispose of, I still had the packaging from ALL the ingredients to dispose of. Ugh...

I'm not always that bright.

But I did succeed in making my first ever loaf of 100% whole wheat bread! I also made a bread bag from a sizeable plaid scrap that I had tucked away. I took pleasure in telling the hubby that "I whipped it up while the bread was baking." Yeah, I whipped something up while the bread was baking. :)

GET THAT DUCKY AWAY FROM MY BREAD!

And I made my first batch of granola ever! It's a hundred times better than store bought. If you haven't nibbled warm granola straight from the oven, I suggest trying it at least once in your life.

...Uh-Oh, that duck is coming for my cereal!!!

While I may not have been able to accomplish my goal of becoming less wasteful, I did manage to save plenty of money on food by making it at home.

Easy granola recipe.

I love chocolate granola! I'm a grown up, so I can eat chocolate for breakfast if I want to! I'm giving you my chocolate almond recipe, but with the base granola recipe, you can make any kind you want.

**Basic granola recipe**

2 cups oats. Not quick oats. Quick oats won't be as crunchy, and may taste kinda funny. I bought mine in bulk from the local health food store.
1/2 cup wheat germ
2 Tbs. dark brown sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 cup maple syrup
3 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 Tbs. water
**extras**
1/3 cup slivered almonds
1/3 cup hemp seeds
2 handfulls semi-sweet chocolate chips

Heat oven to 275 degrees. Coat a 9x13" metal pan with a bit of oil. Mix all dry ingredients together in a bowl. Don't mix in the chocolate, hemp seeds, and almonds yet. Bring all wet ingredients to a low simmer over low heat. Drizzle wet ingredients over the dry ingredients, and mix well. Pour mixture onto your metal pan. Squeeze the cereal into small clumps to create clusters. Place into your oven for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, add the chocolate, almonds, and hemp seeds. Mix together, working fast, cause your chocolate will start melting. Place back into oven for 15 more minutes. Let cool, and store in an air tight container.

Don't be afraid of the hemp seeds. They have tons of protein, and amino acids. They have a nutty flavor which really isn't strong. NO, they won't get you high. I have been eating hemp seeds in my cereal for years, and I love it.

The cool part of this recipe is, you can add what ever extras you want. Such as dried fruit, and nuts. As long as your extras equal 1 cup, and you add them to your pan before the last 15 minutes of cooking.

The more I experiment with this recipe, the more I will post. I love granola.

**Keep your eyes peeled for my next post. It may be a day or two...or three, but I have quite the surprise for you. I am about to hit a milestone, and I'm in the mood to celebrate.**

My Grandma Is Better Than Your Grandma

2010-01-28T09:40:00.001-05:00

Grandmas are awesome right? They let you come over to their house, eat a ton of junk food, watch cable, and basically spoil you rotten. Now that I'm 28, I can eat all the junk food I want, and watch cable t.v. because I have nobody to tell me not too. But nobody says your Grandma still can't spoil you.

*Cue the theme to 2001 A Space Odyssey*

DUUUUH...

DUUUUH...

DUH NUHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Yup, that's a new sewing machine. More on that in a moment.

It was my Grandma's birthday, so we went to visit her, and my Grandpa on Sunday. We had lunch, and conversed.

It was fun going to my grandparents house. My sister and I used to spend a week or two there every summer when we were little. Their house is right near Lake Erie, so it is mainly a vacation town. She used to take us to all the kitschy little tourist spots. Like Mystery Hill,

and Prehistoric Forrest.

But somewhere in between those hours of putt-putting, and going to the beach, she would teach us really cool arts and crafts projects.

She crafts all the time. I suspect her favorite is crocheting. Something I could never do very well. She made those awesome doilies that I affixed to Der Stuhl. Remember those?

So needless to say, she has quite the stash of crafting supplies that she was more than happy to go through, and send me home with.

Including that sewing machine.

I have been debating for some time over wether or not I should buy a brand new machine. I LOVE my Rocketeer, but it poops out on me so often, that I am afraid to try certain projects on it. Which seriously slows the learning process.

The other problem with the Rocketeer, is it's features. While it can do most of the things that a modern machine can do, it's not very user friendly. There are so many different adjustments that can be made to the machine, that it can get confusing. And the manual was written for someone who already knows how to sew since most women knew how back when it was manufactured. Leaving me to figure it out on my own. And ruining much fabric in the process.

So, she sent me home with this one, and I am no longer afraid. It runs smooth, and perfectly, and is quite user friendly. No tangled threads, no THUNK THUNK THUNK as the needle runs through my fabric, and best of all, NO MORE CUSSING! I don't think I swore once since I started sewing on it.

The best thing about this machine is, I can now concentrate on the quality of my projects. Instead of wondering if it's my machine doing the damage, or my inexperience.

Thanks Grandma!

I made a bag on the new machine. Completed without swearing.

I love the fabric! She gave me that too.

And of course I made the sewing machine cover for it.

"K" is for Krista. :)

Proud to be 'Mericentric.

2010-01-27T22:11:00.002-05:00

The hubby found a funny t-shirt while thrifting. Being a sucker for lame puns he snatched it up. Since it didn't fit him so well, he passed it off to me which I happily wear on a regular basis.

Funny huh?

So I wore it to work the other day. A loud, jovial man at one of my tables started speaking French to me. Embarrassed at my lack of culture, I had no witty French response. I didn't even know what he said to me. I explained to him that I don't know French.

That didn't bother him, but what I said next did.

"Even though I don't speak it, I have always thought about how nice it would be to have come from France."

His smile quickly dissipated.

"Why would you wish you were from France honey?"

I responded with,

"I guess I think it would be interesting."

He said.

"Be proud to be an American. It's a great country to be from!"

He didn't speak to me for the rest of the service unless it was to order from me. He barely even looked at me.

I guess I offended him. Or maybe the romantic dream that many bored, mid-western, girls have offended him. You know the one. Sitting alone on your bed amongst a pile of Elle magazines, rubbing Channel No. 5 samples all over yourself, dreaming of sitting at a table at an outdoor cafe, chain smoking in couture, while the Eiffel Tower behind you points strongly, yet delicately towards a setting sun.

Why can't I have my dream and still be proud of where I am from? What would make that man think that I am ashamed to be from America? Don't most of us have that far away place that we dream about for most of our lives? Can't we speak fondly of other countries, and show our respect to them without our pride for our own country questioned?

Has our pride for our country developed into some weird us versus them thing? Is it all or nothing here? Either you love everything American, or you're a traitor. I am officially calling this attitude "Americentric."

Truth be told. France isn't my dream home. England is. Someday.....................

**Update** The hubby informed me last night as I was falling asleep, that the t-shirt is NOT a pun. I'm wondering what it is. Hmmmm...

Scraps

2010-01-21T09:59:00.001-05:00

So like I said, I don't have much crafting money, so I have been using up scraps like it's my job. While they are proving to go a long way, I would love some yardage for big projects.

So I have been saving up.

Yes, I found a use for one of my old juice jars. I put a few bucks in there when I can. Then I will go on a fabric binge. Some lucky Etsian will surely benefit from my savings.

I made my first plushie entirely out of scraps.

I made some scrappy broaches.

Here's a needle book.

Maybe now I will stop jamming my needles in the arm of my chair when I'm embroidering.

Last, I thrifted this super cool knit blazer. It looks boxy, but fits pretty good. I guess I could stand to take it in an inch.

I put it in my shopping cart totally happy with the way that it was, but the minute I got it home, I couldn't leave well enough alone.

I made a little letter, and appliqued it onto the back. Then I did some embroidery.

I like how it looks a bit imperfect. A co-worker of mine was walking behind me, and asked if I had a piece of paper on my back. So maybe it's not imperfect, maybe it's just right.

Clothes I Wish I Still Had, Only Bigger.

2010-01-21T09:16:00.000-05:00

Money has been a bit tight around the house lately, which means NO CRAFTING MONEY.

AAAAHHHHHHHHH!

I have been sewing with scraps, and embroidering with colors that I'm not very fond of.

With no money for crafting, I delved into the depths of my closets, and boxes looking for anything I could craft with.

I found nothing, but some old pictures of myself, and boy did I have some awesome dresses!

Here are some of the dresses I wish I still had. Only bigger.

Here's me from 1986.

I think I actually have a dress quite similar. But it's not nearly as cute. Ignore the haircut.

Here's me in 1984.

Pretty sweater, plaid skirt, wool tights. I would wear that everyday. Also, notice how I'm so easily amused. My sister is playing with an actual toy, while I seem totally mesmerized by a bit of string.

Here's me in 1984 again.

There's those tights again!

Here's me in 1987.

How fancy.

A Translator Added Just For You

2010-01-18T09:01:00.000-05:00

O.k., Maybe not just for you, as in my English speaking pals, but for YOU, as in my pals from around the world that I have yet to meet.

I always find myself stumbling onto really fun looking blogs in other languages that I cannot read. :( That got me to thinking.

How many people from all over stumble upon my blog and may not be able to read it very well, or even at all?

To make things really easy, I have installed a translator on the sidebar. HOORAY! :)

Now click on a flag, and translate away.

P.S. My blog looks really pretty in french. Who am I kidding. Everything looks pretty in french.

The Birthday Cake Cardigan, And A Question

2010-01-17T09:06:00.000-05:00

I thrifted a cardigan a very long time ago. Everytime I looked at it, I wondered why I ever bought it. It was plain white, boxy, and boring. I don't think I ever wore it. I didn't think to take a photo of it before I started working on it, so here is a very accurate artists rendering.

Note how unhappy I look in it.

So last night I looked at it again. I took it in a bit, and decided to add some embroidered embellishments.

I absolutely LOVE it! It reminds me of a birthday cake. A big white cake with tiny colored flowers piped onto it.

I do have a question regarding embroidering onto knits such as this one. This is the first time I embroidered anything onto the actual body of a sweater. The flowers turned out super wonky. While I don't mind a bit of wonkiness, I obviously would have liked my stitching to turn out perfectly.

I suspect it was because I didn't use an embroidery hoop. I just held it in my hand, and stitched. I was worried that if I used the hoop, it would stretch the knit out while I embroidered, only to have it spring back into shape after removing the hoop, leaving me with oddly shaped flowers. Although, I already have oddly shaped flowers, so maybe it wouldn't have made much of a difference.

Should I have used the hoop? Would I have had more control over my stitches?

I have a ton of sweaters that I would love to embroider. Any tips would be beyond helpful.

Hooray!

2010-01-12T16:42:00.000-05:00

Remember my post about The Great State Quilt? Well I just received my square of fabric in the mail. Hooray! I'm really excited to start on it. Thank you Danielle!

To get all the details on how you can participate in this wonderful project check out The Starving Art Journal: The Great State Quilt. For the most recent tally of participants (as of 12/27) click here, and scroll down a bit.

Ladies, A Few Questions.

2010-01-12T09:57:00.001-05:00

In March, I will be turning 29. After living a very full young adult life, I am now married, paying down what little debt we have, hoping to buy a house, and have a few little monsters in the next few years.

So needless to say, an article caught my attention. It's not so much an article as an opinion post, but it raised a few questions within me, and now they are bubbling up to a full boil in my head. I figured, with all the wonderful ladies, from all walks of life here, I could get some great viewpoints.

View the full article here. How to Raise a Confident Daughter (In A Post-Feminist Age)

I don't worry about my ability to raise a girl, or a boy for that matter, in a "post-feminist age", I'm pretty confident. However, a few paragraphs made me think a bit about the lives of women, how we feel about our roles within the workplace, within the home, our education, and how we are perceived by our husbands, and other women.

This paragraph really jumped out at me.

"A recent poll done by Time magazine on the current state of American women is as positive as it is perplexing. In business, power, and economics, the news is good. Women make up 49 percent of the workforce and 57 percent of all college students, and hold jobs that include Supreme Court Justices, governors, and Ivy League presidents. However, even on the economic playing field, there is still a lag. For every dollar that men make, women earn only 77 cents. On the home front, things aren't quite as rosy. Nearly 70 percent of women still have the primary responsibility of taking care of children, the sick, elderly, and their homes."

How many of my readers identify with this paragraph? Specifically, the last sentence.

We all have the best hubbys in the world, don't we? But, How many of us working ladies still take on the brunt of the household duties? I come home quite often to find the dishes done, laundry put away, house put together, (thanks hubby :)) but, on my days off, I still end up scrubbing the floor, cleaning the toilet, dusting, vacuuming, and all sorts of other jobs that never seem to get done unless I do them. I thought that was just me. Apparently (according to the stats) it's not.

*Now, this may sound like it, but it's not hubby bashing time.*

It's time to ask questions. Is it in our brains? As women, are we hardwired to nest? Is it society? Are we still being told to take care of the domestic duties? Wether it be through play as young girls with our mini toy vacuum cleaners, or as adults, with Clorox commercials featuring women coming to save the day from a messy (and clueless) father and son, who stare blankly at a spill they created on the kitchen counter. Is it both?

Do any of you working ladies mind taking on this extra responsibility? Or do you have a very balanced household?

Here's another little snippet.

"Fast-forward past hunter/gatherers, the farming age, and the industrial revolution to our current world -- the Information Age, where we are now called post-feminists. Funny thing about feminism -- it did an important job of liberating masculine energy in women and allowed our girls to gain some much-needed equity on the economic playing field, but we are now seeing that we threw the baby out with the bath water. Today, women with strong creativity, mothering skills, and emotional powers are not rewarded like the gals who excel in "left brain" math and logic. Seems the only traditionally feminine power that was allowed to remain and be rewarded is sexual power, and ladies, that's getting out of control. Pardon my French, but it is raining w----s! It's some age in which to be raising a girl."

My next few questions are for the stay at home moms. I only ask, because I often daydream of being one, and ideally, that is the life I want. While I know it can be a very rewarding life for mom, and family, do you feel like others don't take you seriously? Have you heard negative comments about your lifestyle choice?

In discussions I have had over this topic, I have heard some pretty harsh words said. Surprisingly, from other women. Especially feminists. Things like "Sahms are keeping women from moving forward." "It's oppressive." It is as if some people forget that we get to choose that life now. Having options, and getting a choice doesn't sound very oppressive to me. I have heard comments regarding the lack of drive in sahms. As if they are lazy, and don't want to work. I have even read article on top of article questioning wether or not a sahm with a college degree is wasting her college education. There is one statement I dread hearing every time I discuss my desire to choose the life of a sahm, "those women aren't feminists."

Are sahms getting a bum deal in society? We praise the women who embrace their sexual freedom. I'm sure many of us raised a "right on" fist to our t.v.'s whenever we heard Samantha from Sex and The City use a dirty double entendre. We cheer when a woman takes over in public office. We praise the women who take on typically male specific roles, but not the women who do what women have been doing since the beginning of time.

Has our history with feminism, and desire to move forward as a gender, caused women to forget about a whole population of equally hard working and sexually free women? Do we as women see the roles of our past so oppressive that they aren't even an option? No matter what the reward.

I wonder about the sahms. Where's their fist, and cheering crowd? Do you sahms need that? Do you feel overlooked by other women? Or do you care? Is the only satisfaction you need coming from you raising your family how you see fit?

Oh Stop, You're Making Me Blush.

2010-01-10T11:39:00.000-05:00

How fun is this? Christi over at FatBottomBags selected me for the Happy 101 Award!

Christi makes me happy by taking ugly plastic bags, and with her clever-eco-friendly-craftiness, makes gorgeous reusable bags. Stop over on her blog to she what she's all about. And while you're at it, take a peek at her web site. FatBottomBags.com

*Wanna know how this all works?*
At the end of my happy post, I will choose bloggers that make me happy. If you are one of them, simply make a list of 10 things that make you happy. Then link back to my blog, to share even more happiness. Of course you don't have to participate if you choose not to.
Ready?

Here are 10 things that make me happy.

1) The Hubby

No my husband is not a little boy...I just love that picture of him. My hubby makes me happy because he always helps me when I need something. He feeds my ego by telling me he likes EVERYTHING that I make. He always makes me laugh. And he always picks me up coffee when I run out, so I don't get a migraine.

2) My doggies

They are warm, fuzzy, cute, and don't talk back. They make me very happy.

3) My friends

It's always good to know there are people out there who are just as nutty as I am. You know, the good kind of nutty. Not the "sits at a bus stop, rocking a loaf of bread, stinking of whiskey, while yelling unintelligible nonsense at passers by" kinda nutty. Although, I wonder if one of them WOULD do that. For the right price.

4) Redecorating on a regular basis.

I am a bit of a recluse. I don't go out much, so I need constant stimulation around the house. I need stuff to look at. After a few months, I get bored.

Back in March...Yes, an atheist can appreciate religious art.

December...I did some redecorating before X-mas, but sadly, I did not take photos.

Today...With X-mas over, I took all my decorations down, and started with a clean slate. It is a work in progress. Also, allow me to take the opportunity to say...I have begun hoarding jars. I have no idea what I am going to do with them, but I can't seem to throw them away. It's as though they beg me "please don't toss me in the recycling, I can be very useful to you. I can hold things."

5) This room makes me very, very happy.

Tucked away in a little storage room at work are these...

Tons of blow molds. My boss has a thing for these colorful, kitschy creatures, and over the holiday, much to my delight, they seemed to multiply. Some are displayed around the dining room for our customers to enjoy, but many are in storage. It's the only room I know of that you can walk into and have a pilgrim, a vampire, two reindeer, and several jack-o-lanterns all staring back at you. It's like a weird plastic army.

6) Making stuff.

Of course making stuff makes me happy.

7) Taking walks

Walking makes me happy. I don't know how to drive. But if I did, I wonder just how much I would actually drive. I don't have to pay for gas, insurance, repairs. And running errands are much more of an adventure when I walk. Just two days ago, I got scolded for smoking, and some guy saw the high school jacket that I thrifted, unrolled his window and yelled "GO PANTHERS!" at me. Not to mention the fact that while I wait for my walk sign, I get to see all the weird things people do when they are alone in their cars.

8) Crappy T.V.

I really, really wish I could say that when I get home from work I turn on the news, or open a book. But...if I said that I would be lying. I watch complete crap on t.v.! I simply cannot turn away from it. Really, I tried not to be amused with The Jersey Shore, but I watch it whenever it's on. Sorry America, I realize now, that it's boneheads like me that keep these sleazy shows on the air. But really, nothing makes me happier than having a clean house, a vegan chicken philly in front of me, and catching the latest episode of Real Housewives. Any city...pick one, I've seen 'em all. That's depressing.

9) Blogging...

Blogging makes me so happy. Why? Cause I can say whatever I want. Even this.

fdksjfhakufhiuschvrjnferkjgbk.jvhuhgrrakjwnr.kjbg.iar;fgiohrejhkjthlkjhfluwehjbwjhtw.ihc;woiue

And someone, somewhere will read it.

I can post pictures of whatever I want.

...and someone will look at them. I should start a nonsense blog. That could be fun.

10) And finally...My life

My life makes me happy. Sure there are little things I could change. But overall, I am really happy. The happiest I've ever been. AAAAWWWWWWW...can I go puke now? :)

Now here are just a few bloggers that make me happy...

* Vegkat from vegkat's yarns, and vegkat's confessions. Her embroidery, and cross stitch makes me laugh, her kids are ADORABLE, and I always look forward to her hysterical posts.

* Carrie from Carrie's Little World. I love peeking into the lives of other bloggers, and she allows me to do that in every one of her posts.

* Amber from Hoot-n-Annie. She has fantastic taste in clothes, decor, and...well...stuff. (In my opinion.)

* Novita from verypurpleperson. Her projects are inspiring, and I just love to see what life is like in other parts of the world.

* Shorty from Securityville. I LOVE the look of her blog! Those colors make me happy. :)

* Jodie from Ric-Rac. She has awesome tutorials, her plushies are the cutest, and did you see the dress she made out of selvedge edges?! Amazing!

Der Stuhl Is Done!

2010-01-09T11:01:00.002-05:00

Remember this chair I garbage picked on X-mas Eve?

Yeah...me too. As much as I kinda liked it, it was pretty bad.

I knew I wanted to re-paint it. But I had never actually re-upholstered anything before. I hadn't so much as made a slip cover for anything. So one day I got down on my hands and knees, and started dissecting it....with my eyes.

Boy did I think I was clever as I exclaimed to the hubby, " Hey boo, all I have to do is pull out the staples, and use the existing fabric as a template for a new cover!"

Well imagine my delight, and surprise when I logged into my blogger account (just 11 days after adopting the chair) lo and behold, there appeared an article featured on The DIY Show Off all about re-upholstering a chair. The author of the tutorial, Chantell (from Thousand Square Feet) had a chair a bit similar to mine, and had not only taken photos of her re-fashion, but explained how to do it in plain English.

I thought I was clever when I figured I could use the old cover as a template, but apparently, that is common practice. :)

So, after bookmarking that post, I got to work on my old chair. This is what happened to it...

HOORAY!!!!!

I am in love with my new crazy chair.

I followed Chantell's instructions.

I removed the piping. Pulled out half a million staples. Took the whole thing apart, and never looked back.

She was completely right when she talked about gaining a better understanding on how the chair was constructed by taking it apart. I could have stared at it for weeks, not gaining any insight on how to redo the chair. But the minute I began taking it apart, I knew it would be easy to put it back together.

The whole chair was re-done with whatever I could find around the house. In fact, (besides the back of the chair) the only fabric I used on it was scraps. The seat is nothing but a bunch of scraps that I patched together quite some time ago. I had no idea what I was going to do with the patchwork when I was sewing it, but I knew I would do something with it.

The back of the chair, well that's a sad story...remember this?

Yeah, that was my precious quilt top. I STILL hadn't finished quilting, so I thought I'd put it to good use by cutting it away from the quilt, and attaching it to the back of my chair.

Of course I had to embroider something for it. I thought I would simply embroider "chair" onto a piece of fabric, but that was too plain, and sarcastic for my taste. So in keeping up with my latest obsession of all things German, I used good ol' google to find me the German translation for chair.

I appliqued it onto the quilt top, and stapled it onto the chair.

Like I said, the only fabric that wasn't patched together was the back.

I had intended on using fabric to cover the awful sides (I don't know what those horrible holey panels are called) so I didn't finish painting the panels completely. But the more I looked at it, the more I liked the unfinished look of it. So, to cootie it up even more, I hot glued some awesome doilies to the sides that I had been saving for just the right project. Yeah, I said "awesome doilies."

Instead of adding some fancy trim, or piping detail, I simply used some rope intended for line drying laundry. I just hot glued that stuff right in the groove.

I had followed Chantell's instructions, and used batting to cover the seat, and back of the chair to give it newness, and puff. Lucky for me. I not only had some cotton batting left over from a project a while back, but I had even more sandwiched in between that awful quilt. I cut the batting right out of it, and stapled it onto the chair.

I chose to forgo the tufting. As I was taking apart the chair, I had noticed all the grossness that had collected around the buttons from the previous owners. With two dogs, those buttons seemed to me like hair magnets. I had visions of me furiously trying to clean out dog hair from all those little grooves, and crevices.

I didn't take photos of the process because I did most of this project at night. The photos would have been terrible. And I'm kinda sad about that.

So, after all is said and done I spent, in total $20.00 (before tax) on this project. I had to buy a staple gun, and paint. Everything on this chair was something I had found around the house.

I'm very proud of myself, and my first attempt at re-upholstering. I can't wait to re-do another chair!

Sorry, I just had to see it again. :)

How I Turned A Pullover Into A Cardigan

2010-01-05T22:11:00.002-05:00

This tutorial is nothing new, it's all over the interwebs. But the ones I ran across were all a bit vague. So I decided to write a detailed tutorial on how I made mine.

I have been afraid to try this project, because I don't know how to knit, and don't understand how sweaters are held together. I was afraid that if I tried to do this, my sweater would unravel within minutes of making my first cut.

Despite my fears, I tried it myself on a sweater that I thrifted a few months ago. I loved this project, and loved the way it turned out. So here's my tutorial on how to turn a boxy pullover into a cardigan.

**What you need**

* A pullover sweater.
* Scissors.
* Hooks and eyes.
* Fabric for pockets. Four pieces 4 1/2" x 4 1/2" squares.
* Four pieces 4 1/2" x 4 1/2" squares of fuseable interfacing for pockets. Optional.
* Embroidery floss.
* Buttons.
* Needle, thread, pins...

First, fold your sweater in half to determine the front middle. Make a small cut on the middle, unfold, and continue cutting up the front. Cut as straight as possible.

Next, in order to prevent the cut edges from curling up, and minimize fraying as much as possible, I decided to do a blanket stitch up both the cut edges. Click here for a blanket stitch tutorial. I started the stitch right below the neck band, and ended it right above the band near the waist. They are woven differently, and I was worried that my stitches wouldn't be as consistent as I would have liked them to be.

After stitching both cut edges, I went back to stitch up the neck band, and waist band.

You can see, I ended up having a problem maintaining consistency, due to the sweater itself. On one side of the cut, the knit was flat and straight, giving me a guideline of sorts to keep my stitches even. On the other side of the cut, the knit was wavy, making it harder to keep my stitching even.

Then I stitched a hook and eye closure right at the top of the sweater on the neck. I stitched another closure about 4" down from that.

I stitched on some buttons for decorative purposes.

Then I added my pockets. Feel free to add some fuseable interfacing onto one of the pocket squares before sewing, if you want the stiffness, but it isn't required. Now take two of your fabric squares, face the right sides together, pin, and stitch around 3 sides about 1/4" in.

Clip the corners to reduce bulk.

Turn right side out, fold, and press the open edges in, and topstitch them closed.

Now stitch them on wherever, and however you choose.

Voila! You now have a new cardigan.

Of course this is how I made mine. There are so many different options to consider when making your own cardigan. The only rule to follow is, keep your cut from fraying.

You can stitch some binding onto your cut edges. Or, if you like the look of an unfinished edge, set your machine on it's longest stitch length, and zig-zag near the cut. You can even do a blanket stitch in different ways. Depending on the thickness of the sweater, the distance of your stitches, and how tight you pull the stitches you will get varied results. For instance, on a thinner sweater, if you place your stitches close together, and pull a bit tighter, you will get a pretty "lettuce" style edge on it.

When stitching on knit fabrics, a zig-zag stitch will allow your material to stretch how it would naturally stretch.

Instead of hooks and eyes, you can stitch on a little ribbon to hold it shut, add a zipper, or if you are feeling really ambitious, add some functioning buttons.

You can get really creative with your pockets too. Cut out fun shapes. Felt some pockets, or just leave the pockets out all together.

I thought of all sorts of things I could do with this. Appliques, fabric broaches, even a tie around the waist.

If your sweater is a bit boxy like mine was, take it in using the "pinch and pin" technique. After your cardigan is finished, turn it inside out, put it on, pinch the excess fabric, and pin to mark where you want to take it in. Make sure it's not too tight, and you can move comfortably. Set your machine on it's longest stitch length, and zig-zag stitch where you pinned. I started at the bottom of the sweater, and continued up through the armpit, and into the sleeves.

P.S. That bright pink is in fact, the actual color of the sweater. I really hate the sun setting so early.

The Post About Many Little Things.

2010-01-03T09:42:00.004-05:00

Lately, with my embroidery in full swing, I haven't been even thinking about writing a new sewing tutorial. That is kinda sad to me. I have also been in such a state of hyper-activity, that I really haven't even sat down to think about a single, focused blog post. I really haven't sat down much.

So today, I will post all the little things that go through my head before I get distracted with something else.

* The hubby and I are really excited for the newest episode of Psychic Kids airing on A&E Tues. Jan. 5th. at 9:00 p.m. I normally don't watch that show, but our haunted anniversary spot The Bucksville House will be their destination this week. Click on the link to catch a preview. They were afraid to go upstairs! I feel so tough compared to those kids now. I slept in the attic all night kids. Take that kiddies!

* Our annual holiday party for work is on Monday. Open bar, food, karaoke, craziness! I'm pumped for this too. I had planned on buying some sort of fancy vintage chiffon dress, but my funds wont allow for it. So I made a cute babydoll dress. I even managed to make a fully lined bodice!

But as usual, I effed it up on the very last step, rendering it unwearable. So I tried to make a skirt for the party. I didn't have enough fabric for it, reducing what should have been a girlish flare to a dismal, diaper-like poof. So I made ANOTHER skirt. It turned out perfect, and looking back, I wish I had done a tutorial to go along with it, but in all honesty, my confidence had been shot, and I didn't even think it would turn out. It still needs something, I don't know what though.

I know what it needs! My boy scout hat!

Now as I think about it, I am afraid to wear it. I keep getting visions that during all the dancing, mayhem, and debauchery, that the skirt will bust wide open, and I will end up standing in a room full of people in nothing but a slip, and stockings. My cheeks will get red, and I will cross my hands over my lady parts, and inch sideways towards the door. You know, like when cartoon characters loose their clothes. We'll see.

* The shape of the skirt was inspired by the works of Hannah, the author behind the swoon-worthy blog knick knacks & ric rac. Her Esty shop makes me giggle (and want to buy many things) & her home makes me want to vomit with envy (yes, I'm so envious, that I want to puke! Her studio looks like a giant cuckoo clock!) I spent the whole day just looking at her blog. The skirt I made is nothing compared to what she does. Hannah, I'm coming for some goodies with my tax returns in hand. If I can wait that long.

* Which brings me to my latest obsession. German & Swiss folk/kitsch. Ever since I found that tea towel, I have become obsessed. I found another tea towel to match the other one. So naturally, I made another pillow.

I am using this cute tea towel as a runner for my coffee table.

I have spent hours the last few days just looking at the kitschy images on google. I am truly fascinated. I'm not very knowledgeable on the subject, so perhaps I should get to studying.

* I don't know what in the world to do with these. I bought them a while ago, and they have been sitting on my living room table in their little plastic sleeve ever since. I need some ideas. Help.

* I thought that my creating of home decor items had gotten out of hand. My house was looking like pure insanity. Like a rainbow had upchucked all over my house. After taking all my X-mas decorations down, I realized that it wasn't the stuff I was making, it was the combination of my regular decor, and X-mas decor. Now my house looks plain, and I want that insanity back. I need to make more stuff.

* I have been pulled from the serving floor at work. I now get to hide in the office upstairs assisting the office manager. I couldn't be happier about this. Now I only have one person telling me what to do instead of a whole dining room full of people telling me what to do. I feel way more relaxed, and my body no longer aches after work. I am still "on call" of sorts, if they need a floor manager, or server, and I am dreading that possibility everytime the new schedule goes up.

* Yesterday, I went in search of ingredients to make my own laundry detergent. I figured it wouldn't be that hard considering it only consists of 3 ingredients. Apparently it is hard, because after going to 2 different stores, I couldn't seem to find "washing soda". What is washing soda? Where the heck am I supposed to find it?

That's about it. For now...

Really Taco Bell?!

2009-12-31T09:29:00.003-05:00

Dear Taco Bell,

I worked for you for a very brief period of time many years ago. Around that same time you had your "yo quiero Taco Bell." promotion on t.v. 24 hours a day. Remember that promo Taco Bell? The dog was cute, and I had people yelling that silly phrase to me through my headphones in a bad Mexican accent all day. The people liked it. I found it moderately funny. I'd have to say it was a success.

You had your clever catch phrases. "Make a run for the border." "Think outside the bun." Both of which my friends and I would drunkenly say while we were on our way to purchase from you. Consumers using those phrases in casual conversation, I'd say that was pretty successful.

While on the topic of drunken Taco Bell hijinks. Your recent "Fourth Meal" campaign was genius. You actually took notice of all us intoxicated bafoons waiting in line at 3:00 a.m. for sub par food. I would even go as far as saying, I think it's possible that you are the reason certain Mc. Donalds have decided to stay open late. Heck, back in the day, you were our only late night option. Now, many places have opted to keep it's drive thru's open late in hopes of raking in a few extra bucks from late night revelers.

Really, you haven't done all that bad with your campaigns. Until now. I witnessed this atrocity last night.

Taco Bell, it is clear to me that you don't believe in your "plan". It is clearly plastered all over your commercial. This disclaimer is on the bottom of the screen from the very beginning "Her EXCEPTIONAL experience based on average 1250 cal/day. Average reduction of 500 cal/day over two years with sensible food choices." We see this disclaimer here when viewing options from your "fresco" menu "150-340 calories. Not a low calorie food." We see the first disclaimer again, when viewing her before picture. We see yet another disclaimer when you pan over your fresco menu items Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet is not a weight loss program. Pay attention to total calorie and fat intake and regular exercise." Then you have her explain how the "results aren't typical." And if the disclaimers in your t.v. ad weren't enough, you have to explain them again on your website underneath your t.v. ad, and on every page of your site.

"Exceptional experience based on an average intake of 1250 calories a day, with average daily reduction of 500 calories over 2 years with sensible food choices. For a healthier lifestyle, pay attention to total calorie and fat intake and regular exercise. "Drive-Thru Diet®" is not a weight loss program. Fresco can help with calorie reductions of 20 to 100 per item compared to corresponding products on our regular menu. Not a low calorie food"

Sure, you have to post those disclaimers for legal purposes. I have seen those disclaimers on every print ad., and t.v. spot for a whole mess of weight loss products. But what makes your ad so unique to me is that the disclaimers in your ad are larger, and more prominent in your ad than in most. There is a disclaimer in almost ever shot. Be it verbal, or in print.

Maybe I could be wrong. And pardon me Taco Bell if I am. Maybe you do believe in the power of your fresco menu to help those of us who struggle with our weight. But your lawyers certainly don't.

What you did do well, possibly to benefit yourselves, is post a link to your fresco menu nutritional info down at the bottom. You have even had your web designers color that little button green. Possibly to help it blend into the background a little. You know, to make it a little less prominent. You clever little monkeys you.

Fresco Menu Nutritional Info.

Now I know as well as any normal, level headed American, that this diet would only work if the consumer follows an actual diet in their everyday life. Low fat, low calorie, healthy choices, plenty of rest, water, and exercise. Tell me Taco Bell, what exactly was Christine's diet plan? She was on it for two years. She didn't eat only Taco Bell. So what did she eat? This is the biggest flaw in your commercial. You don't tell us what the plan is, and how to follow it. How many meals did she purchase from you? How often did she eat in your establishments? You have a very vague diet plan for us mindless fatties to follow.

And how many Americans out there, desperate to lose the weight (that you undoubtedly had a part in helping them gain in the first place) would go for the gusto and eat only Taco Bell? Sure it wouldn't be your fault. The disclaimer is all over your ad's. And, you may make a few extra bucks assuming there are people out there who may think that way. Good for you Taco Bell, bad for the already nutrient starved buying public.

I find it reprehensible that you would even make a slight claim that any of your items may be good for someone. Why couldn't you just advertise you fresco menu like normal. Tell me you have it, and I will make the drunken decision at 1:00 a.m. Don't make claims that you can't back up.

Taco Bell. I have battled the late night drunk lines to get to your food for years. I have battled rude drive-thru employees, wrong orders, and tummy aches from you because deep down inside, I really like you. You have been there for me through my drunken stupors, soothed my "drunk crying girl" tears, and have been there for me and my friends in a pile on the coffee table in somebody's living room listening to us tell the stories of our night. Can't you stick to that? Drunk food. That's what you are, and to many of us, that's all you ever will be. "Fourth Meal" GENIUS! Keep that up.

I hope your new little marketing plan fails. Miserably. Shame on you for exploiting the struggles of the American people for your own selfish gain. Shame on you for telling them that your product is anything other than what it actually is. CRAP.

Way to kick off 2010 Taco Bell.

-Krista

I've Been A Busy Bee.

2009-12-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

Out of all the things I received for X-mas, the hubbys gift to me was my favorite. He got me 7 or 8 embroidery hoops. He "wanted to get me 30"...now that would have been awesome! So I have been parked in front of the t.v. neglecting the Rocketeer, and practicing my embroidery.

This is how I practice my french knots...

heehee. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

I used Morrissey as inspiration yet again, embroidering a lyric from "Everyday Is Like Sunday."

It actually says. "Share some greased tea with me." But you may not be able to read it properly. In retrospect, I should have separated some of the strands of floss to reduce the bulk of the text making it easier to read.

The lyric reminds me of when the hubby came over to my house for the first time. I offered to make him some tea, and he sat and drank it happily. Little did I know, he doesn't like tea. I haven't seen him drink it since.

I used a bit of batting under my heart to make it puffy.

After noticing my oopsie, I separated my floss for this next one. It was the first time I tried that, and I really like the results.

I showed it to the hubby after I was finished with it. He said, "why is that girl bird yelling at that boy bird?" I had explained to him that the birds were actually gossiping. The boy bird was like "REALLY?" and the girl bird was like "TOTALLY!" I guess it just goes to show, that even though it isn't a painting, a sculpture, or a poem, embroidery can also be interpreted by the viewer in their own special way.

The birds came from this awesome book that I found at the craft store. It is a book of iron on transfers created by a U.K. design studio called Sukie.

The illustrations are soooo cute, and they don't seem to transfer onto fabric like more cheesy, cheap transfers. They don't have that plasticy feel to them. You can still see the texture of the fabric.

I used the entire alphabet on this pillow.

Now you may be asking yourself, "why did Krista make yet another pillow?" Cause I know you were...:) The hubby and I found this delightfully ugly chair on the side of the road on X-mas eve. I needed a new pillow for it. I can't wait to paint it. I may even try to recover it. Who knows.

Pillows From Around The World, Bodily Functions Made Pretty, And The Reason For The Season

2009-12-24T09:27:00.004-05:00

You my dear readers get the once in a lifetime opportunity to witness a full blown obsession in the making. I made another Matryoshka applique. This time on a pillow. I tried to make this a tacky as possible. I think it was a success.

I did a few things differently. I added a zig-zag stitch around her babushka, and her face to ensure stability since it is on a pillow, and it will be used everyday. Case in point...notice the wrinkles. I had to pry it out from under a sleeping dog to take photos of it. Between the hubby, me, and two dogs, my lady would get destroyed if I didn't add that stitching. I now realize, that I really like that extra stitching, and wish I had thought of that when doing my other ladies. It just looks a bit more finished.

I gave her buttons for eyes, which I don't like much. I think it makes her look crazy instead of sweet, and kind.

I love this next pillow!

I found some cute Dutch inspired tea towels at my local vintage shop for really cheap. (I am growing quite fond of tea towels as well.) Instead of cutting this cute towel up, I simply folded the ends underneath itself, gave it a good press, and stitched it onto the pillow cover. Since I get restless, and change my mind often, I will be able to deconstruct this pillow at a later date, and still have my tea towel intact.

This is my third attempt at ruffles. I am quite proud of them.

Annnnnd, I did some embroidery for my ugly, neglected bathroom.

I am really enjoying embroidery, but while making these, I realized that there is so much more that I should really learn about the different stitches. I learned some time ago how to do a chain stitch, and really wasn't surprised at the beginning when my projects were kinda wonky. I figured, it was a good stitch, I'm only doing simple designs, if I practice my chain stitch, I can get away with using it on everything. Well, I have been practicing my chain stitch, and while it's still not perfect, the stitch itself just doesn't seem to pick up certain details of the pattern. Especially when embroidering text. See below.

Obviously, I still have to work on my stitch length, among other things, but I just wasn't satisfied with it. So I trolled the interwebs looking for other stitches. I found a tutorial for a backstitch, which seemed to work perfectly for this next one.

See...the letters look sharper, and more clean. I just have to practice this one until I get it down.

I learned how to do a french knot also...

I have been learning so much this month about sewing, and such. With every new thing I try, I get a wave of new ideas. I have so many projects in mind that I'm bursting at the seams. I think I have to start writing all this down somewhere.

And may I say "Happy Holidays To All My Dear Readers!" I am so happy to have you all here. Oh, and while you're here, allow me to remind you of the "reason for the season". **You may need to click on it to actually see it.**

What I Learned About Life, Love, And Topstitching In 2009

2009-12-19T11:25:00.001-05:00

Every year around this time, I would dedicate a post on my myspace blog (back when myspace wasn't a ghost town) to everything I learned in a year. It started one year as a gag (focusing on the importance of Morrissey in my life), but I found myself going back to read it every so often. It was not only a great way for me to document the most important, and unimportant parts of my year, but it really helped me understand that my life isn't all that boring. Stuff happens, I just tend to forget about it.

So while this post may take you mere minutes to read, it is taking me much longer to write as I playback 2009 in my mind.

1) Always remember to take your slippers off before doing the laundry. Because every time I ascend the stairs to my basement they slide off my feet, and I will inevitably fall up the steps trying to shuffle them back on.

2) Check your teeth after eating black beans. You may go most of the day with black bits stuck in your teeth, and nobody will tell you about this for hours.

3) Don't ignore what you truly love. As far back as my childhood, I loved clothes, colors, patterns, fabric, and I annoyed my parents by changing my clothes 100 times a day. In my teens I handstitched unusual garments for myself. I was obsessed with couture, and ready to wear, plastering my walls with Betsy Johnson, and Kate Moss. I remember the day Gianni Versace died like it was yesterday. Thinking I would never be good enough at sewing, I never pursued my passions. I know I'm no Vivienne Westwood now, but who's to say I never will be? I just have to practice. And get a dress form, and learn how to drape...someday...

4) A smile goes a long way. (Remember to check for black beans.) Your day will become a lot more pleasant when you do.

5) Forgiveness, and modesty go a long way as well. I try to remember that when others act negatively towards me, it may be unintentional. I don't know what kind of day they are having, or life they live, nor can I control it. The easiest thing I can do is forgive, be pleasant, and try to put a smile on their face. I also try to remember that I do not know everything. Every time I retain, and display a bit of modesty, I am opening myself up to new ideas, and experiences. By pretending to know everything, you may lose the opportunity to learn new things.

6) My Chuck Taylors require 3 cycles in the wash, and 2 in the dryer. If I wouldn't wear my Cons to work, I wouldn't actually need to wash them.

7) The Smiths are still the best music to clean the house to. I tried to mix it up a bit with some Siouxsie And The Banshees once, and I just wasn't as productive. Sorry Siouxsie, I still love you.

8) Fart jokes are still funny. Don't try to tell me they're not. Don't try to tell me I'm immature. I don't care. They're funny damnit! You know you want to laugh at them.

9) You can never plan for the unexpected. Even when the unexpected turns into "expecting", you still can't plan for that. Life will change in a matter of hours, and you won't always be prepared for it.

10) I realized that Duchess Von Puppyhausen will be one of those "smelly dogs" when she gets older, making it very awkward, and uncomfortable for my future house guests to snuggle her when she asks for it. But I will snuggle her no matter how badly she smells. I love her.

11) Thomas Jefferson will not be a "smelly dog." She will in fact be as awesome as she is now.

12) I have the best hubby in the whole world. Sorry to break it to you ladies. But it's true.

13) If you try hard enough, you can "do it yourself."

14) Don't wake up early, and chug a ton of coffee before your work field trip to Cedar Point. You will probably get motion sickness on the first roller coaster reducing you to being Debbie Downer for the rest of the day.

15) Look both ways before crossing the street, parking lot, driveway, etc. After you look both ways, look again. People love to fiddle with their cell phones while driving, and will nearly hit you. This happens so often to me now, that I am slightly afraid to walk past cars.

16) I really don't enjoy drinking as much as I used to. How sad. I used to be tons of fun. Or just drunk. :)

...on second thought, maybe I am still fun.

17) Menus are dangerous. If you aren't careful, you may scratch your eyeball with one.

18) If you think you don't have allergies, think again. You may need to purchase an adhesive eye patch to protect an eye injured by said dangerous menus, and your face will break out into an ugly swollen rash.

19) You may receive pity tips, and a knowing smile from a customer who's eye has been injured as well, after they see your swollen, ugly, rashy, eye.

20) I am really looking forward to 2010. Why? Who know what's gonna happen. I can't wait to see.

One Last X-Mas Tutorial

2009-12-18T14:36:00.001-05:00

I'm squeezing in one last X-mas tutorial before all the madness is over.

I wanted to make some cute tags for all my gifts. But I found myself without a glue stick. So I did what any other normal craftress would do, I turned to my sewing machine for help.

Here's how I made my tags.

**What you need**

* Pretty card stock
* Brown craft paper
* Pinking shears
* Something pointy, or a hole punch. I don't own a hole punch, so I used something pointy
* Thread
* A bit of tape

Cut your card stock down to your desired size. It really doesn't matter what size. As long as a name can fit onto it. Mine measure about 3" x 1 1/2".

Cut your craft paper with your pinking shears to your desired size. (Mine measure about 1" x 2 1/2".) Now put a bit of tape onto your card stock. Place your craft paper on top of it. This will hold it on while you are sewing.

Now set your machine to the longest stitch, and stitch all around.

Now just poke a hole on one corner of your tag. And run it through some ribbon, or string or whatever...

I really wanted to stamp names onto the tags, but every time I tried, I either spelled it wrong, or stamped a letter on backwards. Oops. So I gave up, and wrote the names in my awful handwriting.

Have a happy wrapping day!

A Growing Obsession?

2009-12-17T12:12:00.002-05:00

I loved my little nesting doll ( from my previous post) so much, that I decided to make a garland out of these little ladies.

Here, I will share with you how I made mine.

I love the flexibility of this project, it's easy to make, uses little materials, and is a great way to put your scraps to good use.

There are 4 basic parts to my doll. I will explain how I layered mine to form the basic doll, then you can embellish it in whatever crazy way you can come up with. You can use any fabric you desire for any of the parts. I chose to keep mine pretty simple, but you can choose to go nuts. If you find yourself short of inspiration, google Russian nesting dolls, or Matryoshka dolls. This is what I did when looking for inspiration. I giggled when I happened upon a site that declared nesting dolls "the owls of 2010"

Simply click on the image below to enlarge, and print out. Cut along the crooked black lines.

In the spirit of not using patterns, I will simply call these templates. :)

**What you need**
* Printed, and cut templates.
* Eco-felt scraps, fabric scraps, trims.
* Triangles cut from felt. Most of mine measure 1 1/2" across the top, and 2" long. They don't have to be perfectly cut to this size. Not all of mine are measured perfectly. I used 24 total.
* Fuseable interfacing. Optional.
* Icky, messy, smelly fabric glue.
* A length of embroidery thread cut to your preferred measurements.
* Needle, scissors.

First you need to cut out the body. If you choose to use felt for the body, you will only need to cut out one piece of the body template (#1). If you use a lighter weight fabric, you will need to cut two pieces of your fabric (one for the front, and one for the back) and cut one piece of fuseable interfacing to stiffen up your project. Go ahead, and fuse your interfacing to one of your body pieces now.

Cut out your head (#2), hair (#3), and babushka (#4). Remember to cut around the inner circle inside the babushka making a hole.

Next, glue #2 to #1 lining up the edges.

Then, glue #3 on top of #2 lining up the edges.

Now, glue #4 on top of #3 lining up the edges.

I cut out bits of fabric and felt for my dolls faces, and glued them on, but there are many ways to do these. You can embroider eyes and lips, paint them on using fabric ink, use buttons...the only thing there is no question about are the rosy cheeks. Your doll must have them. Why? Well because...:)

Embellishing the body is fun. You can make ties for the babushka by cutting out tiny almond shaped bits, and gluing them near the point.

You can give them little aprons to wear, glue ribbons, lace, ric-rac, trim, and fabric onto their tummies. You can also embroider pretty flowers too. Go crazy!

*If you have used fabric instead of felt for the body, then follow this next step. If you used felt, you can choose to skip it.*

Pin the front of your body to the back of your body. Then set your machine to a zig-zag stitch on the shortest stitch setting, and stitch all around the edges. I used a contrasting thread to give it more interest.

Once you have finished sewing, trim around the doll to even out your edges. I made four of these dolls.

With all of your dolls finished, you're ready to string everything onto your embroidery thread. I measured mine at 10 feet. That was the length I needed for my space.

I strung 3 little triangles up by running a single small stitch near the top.

Then I slipped a doll on, near the top of her head in the same way.

I alternated between 1 doll, and 6 triangles until I got to the end of the floss. There I stitched on 3 triangles again. Did that make sense? Of course this step is as flexible as the rest of the steps in this tutorial.

Now you're all done. Go ahead and hang these up in a gloomy corner, and stare at them for an hour or two.

More Bags!

2009-12-15T09:45:00.003-05:00

I found an old tutorial from summer '08 over at Sew Mama Sew! on how to make a reuseable tote for shopping. It looked crazy easy, and had tons of room for me to add little extras.

Since it is the gift giving season, I thought I'd help this buried tutorial float to up the surface in case anyone missed it. These are really, really easy to make, and would make a fantastic gift. Of course the ones I made are just for me. Aren't I selfish? :)

I'm really happy with the way mine turned out, and have decided that these will not only be used for shopping, but to carry around all the time for me to shove junk in, i.e. a purse.

For both, I followed the fabric instructions. I bought heavy home decor fabrics to ensure security. The fabric I used for this one was a bit more stiff, which helped the bag retain it's intended shape.

I added a contrasting fabric behind the pocket measuring 13" x 13" (giving it a 1/2" hem) to break up the pattern a bit.

I love that fabric. It looks like an old lady's couch.

This blue fabric (which doesn't look very blue due to a cloudy picture taking day) was lighter in weight, leaving it's shape a bit saggy.

Once again, I put a panel of fabric behind the pocket to break up the color. I went to Bazzar Bizzar this weekend, and was inspired by some huge totes I saw with giant Russian nesting dolls appliqued onto them. What I was not inspired by was the price tag. I think they were $60. If I wasn't doing X-mas shopping, I'm sure I would have picked up one for myself. As I was working on my applique last night, it occurred to me why the price tag might be so high. That dumb doll took a lot of time to make. Theirs were a lot more intricate, and prettier than mine, so I can only imagine how much time, money, and effort they spent on materials, and creating.

So why did I like this tutorial so much? Well, besides the instructions being so easy to follow, Irene (the author) taught me about french seams,

and gussets.

So good for me, I have a brand new wrinkle in my brain! And new bags. Thanks Irene!

The Great State Quilt

2009-12-14T07:01:00.000-05:00

Danielle from The Starving Art Journal has a fantastically creative, and generous idea. Find volunteers from all 50 states, send them a 5" square of fabric, have the volunteers decorate them, then send them back to have them all sewn together making a quilt which in turn will be donated to a nearby children's hospital.

Upon my reading of this, I quickly noticed that Ohio didn't have any volunteers, so I sent her an e-mail. I was happy to find an e-mail in my in-box last night accepting my request to embellish a square.

So check off one for Ohio! Hooray!

But there are still many states without volunteers. So if you love embroidery, or kid-safe fiber arts, talk to Danielle. This is a fantastic way to put a smile on someones face. And really, how much of your time would a 5" square of fabric take up?

For more details about the project, including embellishing, and kid safe requirements, click here.

For the most recent state tally (as of Dec. 13th), click here. Don't worry if your state has a tally next to it. You can always submit a request to get in on a second quilt if they get a ton of responses.

I Made Some Buttons Just For You.

2009-12-13T11:27:00.002-05:00

And they took me quite some time since I know nothing about html.

So if you find patterns confusing, and avoid them at all costs, then this button has your name all over it.

Did I try your tutorial? Was I proud enough to write a post about it? Then you should be proud too. Chances are, you taught me something new. Good for you. :) Take this button, and show everyone what a great teacher you are.

If you do take a button, feel free to e-mail me letting me know that you did. That way I can return the favor by placing a link to your blog on my sidebar. Lets share the love.

Operation NICE...

2009-12-13T09:23:00.001-05:00

I proudly follow a blog titled Operation NICE. The purpose of this blog is to be nice to others in hopes of spreading the nice around. For everyone to enjoy.

Melissa sent out a call for testimonials, so of course I had to send in one of mine. Read about my nicest customer ever here.

Here's to hoping others are inspired by his kindness, and show their hardworking server a little kindness today. Here's to hoping servers are a little nicer as well. :)

I think I'm gonna puke from all these niceities.

Another Tea Towel Apron.

2009-12-12T11:36:00.002-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I know I just made a tea towel apron inspired by the great and powerful Moz, but I just couldn't help doing it again.

This tutorial explains how to make a great apron for servers, or your next craft show. 'Cause you gotta keep your money close.

If you don't mind people staring at your crotch while trying to read text, you can use my stamping method to decorate your apron with your favorite song lyrics (like I did) or an excerpt from your favorite book. Or, get really creative, and stamp your own writing onto it.

While the apron itself is super duper easy, the stamping takes a bit of time, patience, and undivided attention. I had a few "oopsies" while trying to watch Hoarders on A&E, and stamping at the same time. I started getting a little slap happy towards the end of my stamping, and I'm pretty sure this song will be stuck in my head for life.

So here we go...

*What you need*

* A blank tea towel
* Some length of twill tape, or fabric for your tie. Cut to your measurements.
* Individual letter stamps.
* Fabric/screen printing ink.
* A little paint brush
* Time, and patience.

First, lay out your towel, and fold one end up. How high up you choose to fold this will determine your pocket depth. I folded mine about 8" up.

Next, stitch up both sides of your towel closing up the ends. Remember to start on the fold, and stitch beyond the edge a bit. Don't forget to secure your stitches by backstitching.

Now, place a bit of cardboard in the pocket. This will keep your ink from bleeding through your fabric.

Paint a bit of ink onto your stamp, and, well, stamp onto your fabric. You want to paint the ink onto the stamp to ensure neatness. If you dip the stamp into your ink, it will make a mess, and your letters may not be evenly coated. While I believe this project is best remaining "imperfect", you still want your text to be readable.

After you have gone absolutely bonkers stamping for 3 or 4 whole days, you are ready to create your individual pockets. Decide how wide you want them to be, and mark the width with pins. It was important for me to be able to shove my server book into one of these pockets, so I measured my book, and marked it to those measurements. You can make the pockets as wide, or as narrow as you want to accommodate whatever you plan on cramming in there.

Once you have marked your widths, and beginning at the fold to avoid weird puckering, stitch up your pockets. Remember to continue to stitch a bit over the top of your pockets, and backstitch some to ensure security.

Now, fold your apron in half and mark the fold with a pin.

Cut your twill tape, or length of fabric to your measurements. I cut mine to 44" so I could wrap them around, and tie in front of me. *I learned the hard way that my fellow servers think it's funny to walk past me, and untie my apron, laughing while it falls to the floor. So I will always tie it in front now to keep an eye on it.* Take your twill tape, or length of fabric (for your ties) and fold in half, placing a pin on the fold. This will help you find the middle, ensuring your tie will be attached to your apron perfectly, and evenly.

Lay your tie on top of your apron where you intend on placing it matching up the pins. I chose to place mine as close to the top as possible. Now pin together.

And stitch on.

Voila! You are all done. Now tie it on, and GET BACK TO WORK!

And now...lets all listen to the song that I love oh, so very much...

A Hamdmade X-mas, Not Made By My Own Two Hands

2009-12-11T09:04:00.001-05:00

I was screaming at my machine last night!

I was trying to finish up some X-mas gifts, when I just got angry. Almost everytime I try to finish up a project, my machine loses it's cool, and craps all over it. It usually takes a dive whenever I start to topstitch. It really defeats the purpose of a decorative stitch. If it is a project I'm making for myself, I really don't mind much whenever that happens, but the perfectionist in me is saying, "whatever you do, do not give those as gifts."

I'm really not sure if my mistakes are noticeable. But I can see them, which makes me feel less than enthused about presenting them as gifts.

So to stay within the spirit of handmade, I will be shopping on Etsy for gifts.

And to make myself feel a bit better, I have entered a giveaway for a simply gorgeous dress over on Grosgrain. (Check it out, it is phenomenal!)

So for now, I am choosing to imagine myself twirling around in that fantastic dress, instead of being angry at my machine. I should go apologize to it. I think I hit it last night. Maybe I can convince it to tell the other machines that it "walked into a door."

Stuff I Actually Like

2009-12-10T19:43:00.000-05:00

A lot of my posts revolve around things I don't like, or disagree with. So I'm taking the time to do this X-mas themed survey of things I actually like.

Carrie at Carrie's Little World posted it, and I thought I would participate.

Favorite Color?

Red. Preferably red and white together.

Facebook?

Yes, but I decline requests more often than not. I can't seem to keep up with 100's of people.

Favorite X-mas Song?

The Waitresses, Christmas Wrapping

X-mas tree, real or fake?

I love a fake kitschy tree, but real ones just smell so good!

Hottest Celebrity?

Ewan McGregor...no contest.

................sigh..............

Favorite restaurant?

I guess I'd have to say it's the place that I work at, but I won't say where. If you haven't figured by now, I'm a bit paranoid. :)

Favorite magazine?

Paper Magazine. Only I don't read fashion mags anymore. It's gorgeous to look at though. I do miss it.

Favorite Holiday Drink?

...I don't drink much of this due to the incredibly stupid things I've seen people do under the influence of this stuff. Really, it's like crack to Clevelanders. However, it just wouldn't feel like X-mas without a few of these.

Favorite X-mas movie?

A Christmas Memory (1966). Narrated by Truman Capote.

I guess that's it...What X-mas stuff do you like?

My Tribute To Summer

2009-12-10T13:57:00.001-05:00

Today was the first day here when it snowed, and actually stuck to the ground here in Cleveland. It is also quite windy, making for a frigid day.

With it being so cold, I am locking myself indoors today, and keeping busy with some projects. I looked through all of the tutorials I have bookmarked, but actually haven't gotten to yet.

This bag is one of them.

I found the tutorial for it over on Ric-Rac. Jodie claims the bag can be made in one hour, and she is right. Well really it took me an hour and a half, but I think that is because it took me time to deconstruct a way too big nightie for the outer fabric, and add some embellishments.

Because of the bone chilling temperatures outside, I made this bag bright and cheery. Just like summertime.

The only problem I had with the bag was running out of thread. I would have loved to use red thread to topstitch this project, but I don't have enough. So I decided to use light blue, but ran out before I even reached the topstitching step. So I went with the same green that I used for the stems on the flowers. Looking back, I guess I could have used some of the yellow I bought the other day. Oh well...

I loved this tutorial. Lately I have been trying to do projects that require a lining of some kind. I have never been able to wrap my head around how to do a lining, and outer shell, so I have been seeking out tutorials that will teach me how. This one was perfect.

Thanks Jodie, I love this bag!

Look At This...Um...Thing...I Just Made.

2009-12-09T09:49:00.000-05:00

I needed a place to hang my pot holders, and really needed a place to hang my aprons.

So I made this...

...if you couldn't tell it's a tree branch. :) It's really strange, but it seems to be doing it's new job quite happily.

I had to hang it by wrapping some trim around it, and placing it on a nail. There aren't any tools in my household. If I had the appropriate tools, I would have been able to do some sawing, sanding, and actually mounting the thing to my wall, making it much prettier to look at. But this will have to do for now.

Every time I look at it one half of me says "hey that's pretty cool" but then there's another half that says "what in the world is that thing on your wall?"

I have decided to leave it hanging there due to it's usefulness.

My awesome project is still not finished. Ugh, it's taking forever. Once I finish it, I swear I wont make anything else for myself until I'm done with the X-mas gifts.