Taco Bell, it is clear to me that you don't believe in your "plan". It is clearly plastered all over your commercial. This disclaimer is on the bottom of the screen from the very beginning "Her EXCEPTIONAL experience based on average 1250 cal/day. Average reduction of 500 cal/day over two years with sensible food choices." We see this disclaimer here when viewing options from your "fresco" menu "150-340 calories. Not a low calorie food." We see the first disclaimer again, when viewing her before picture. We see yet another disclaimer when you pan over your fresco menu items Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet is not a weight loss program. Pay attention to total calorie and fat intake and regular exercise." Then you have her explain how the "results aren't typical."  And if the disclaimers in your t.v. ad weren't enough, you have to explain them again on your website underneath your t.v. ad, and on every page of your site.

"Exceptional experience based on an average intake of 1250 calories a day, with average daily reduction of 500 calories over 2 years with sensible food choices. For a healthier lifestyle, pay attention to total calorie and fat intake and regular exercise. "Drive-Thru Diet®" is not a weight loss program. Fresco can help with calorie reductions of 20 to 100 per item compared to corresponding products on our regular menu. Not a low calorie food"

Sure, you have to post those disclaimers for legal purposes. I have seen those disclaimers on every print ad., and t.v. spot for a whole mess of weight loss products. But what makes your ad so unique to me is that the disclaimers in your ad are larger, and more prominent in your ad than in most. There is a disclaimer in almost ever shot. Be it verbal, or in print. 

Maybe I could be wrong. And pardon me Taco Bell if I am. Maybe you do believe in the power of your fresco menu to help those of us who struggle with our weight. But your lawyers certainly don't.

What you did do well, possibly to benefit yourselves, is post a link to your fresco menu nutritional info down at the bottom. You have even had your web designers color that little button green. Possibly to help it blend into the background a little. You know, to make it a little less prominent. You clever little monkeys you.

Fresco Menu Nutritional Info.

Now I know as well as any normal, level headed American, that this diet would only work if the consumer follows an actual diet in their everyday life. Low fat, low calorie, healthy choices, plenty of rest, water, and exercise. Tell me Taco Bell, what exactly was Christine's diet plan? She was on it for two years. She didn't eat only Taco Bell. So what did she eat? This is the biggest flaw in your commercial. You don't tell us what the plan is, and how to follow it. How many meals did she purchase from you? How often did she eat in your establishments?  You have a very vague diet plan for us mindless fatties to follow.

And how many Americans out there, desperate to lose the weight (that you undoubtedly had a part in helping them gain in the first place) would go for the gusto and eat only Taco Bell? Sure it wouldn't be your fault. The disclaimer is all over your ad's. And, you may make a few extra bucks assuming there are people out there who may think that way. Good for you Taco Bell, bad for the already nutrient starved buying public.

I find it reprehensible that you would even make a slight claim that any of your items may be good for someone. Why couldn't you just advertise you fresco menu like normal. Tell me you have it, and I will make the drunken decision at 1:00 a.m. Don't make claims that you can't back up.

Taco Bell. I have battled the late night drunk lines to get to your food for years. I have battled rude drive-thru employees, wrong orders, and tummy aches from you because deep down inside, I really like you. You have been there for me through my drunken stupors, soothed my "drunk crying girl" tears, and have been there for me and my friends in a pile on the coffee table in somebody's living room listening to us tell the stories of our night. Can't you stick to that? Drunk food. That's what you are, and to many of us, that's all you ever will be. "Fourth Meal" GENIUS! Keep that up.

I hope your new little marketing plan fails. Miserably. Shame on you for exploiting the struggles of the American people for your own selfish gain. Shame on you for telling them that your product is anything other than what it actually is. CRAP.

Way to kick off 2010 Taco Bell.

-Krista

Out of all the things I received for X-mas, the hubbys gift to me was my favorite. He got me 7 or 8 embroidery hoops. He "wanted to get me 30"...now that would have been awesome! So I have been parked in front of the t.v. neglecting the Rocketeer, and practicing my embroidery.

This is how I practice my french knots...

heehee. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

I used Morrissey as inspiration yet again, embroidering a lyric from "Everyday Is Like Sunday."

It actually says. "Share some greased tea with me." But you may not be able to read it properly. In retrospect, I should have separated some of the strands of floss to reduce the bulk of the text making it easier to read.

The lyric reminds me of when the hubby came over to my house for the first time. I offered to make him some tea, and he sat and drank it happily. Little did I know, he doesn't like tea. I haven't seen him drink it since.

I used a bit of batting under my heart to make it puffy.

After noticing my oopsie, I separated my floss for this next one.  It was the first time I tried that, and I really like the results.
I showed it to the hubby after I was finished with it. He said, "why is that girl bird yelling at that boy bird?" I had explained to him that the birds were actually gossiping. The boy bird was like "REALLY?" and the girl bird was like "TOTALLY!" I guess it just goes to show, that even though it isn't a painting, a sculpture, or a poem, embroidery can also be interpreted by the viewer in their own special way.

The birds came from this awesome book that I found at the craft store. It is a book of iron on transfers created by a U.K. design studio called Sukie.
The illustrations are soooo cute, and they don't seem to transfer onto fabric like more cheesy, cheap transfers. They don't have that plasticy feel to them.  You can still see the texture of the fabric.

I used the entire alphabet on this pillow.

Now you may be asking yourself, "why did Krista make yet another pillow?" Cause I know you were...:) The hubby and I found this delightfully ugly chair on the side of the road on X-mas eve. I needed a new pillow for it. I can't wait to paint it. I may even try to recover it. Who knows.

 I did a few things differently. I added a zig-zag stitch around her babushka, and her face to ensure stability since it is on a pillow, and it will be used everyday. Case in point...notice the wrinkles. I had to pry it out from under a sleeping dog to take photos of it. Between the hubby, me, and two dogs, my lady would get destroyed if I didn't add that stitching. I now realize, that I really like that extra stitching, and wish I had thought of that when doing my other ladies. It just looks a bit more finished.

I gave her buttons for eyes, which I don't like much. I think it makes her look crazy instead of sweet, and kind.

I love this next pillow!

I found some cute Dutch inspired tea towels at my local vintage shop for really cheap. (I am growing quite fond of tea towels as well.) Instead of cutting this cute towel up, I simply folded the ends underneath itself, gave it a good press, and stitched it onto the pillow cover. Since I get restless, and change my mind often, I will be able to deconstruct this pillow at a later date, and still have my tea towel intact.

This is my third attempt at ruffles. I am quite proud of them.

Annnnnd, I did some embroidery for my ugly, neglected bathroom.
I am really enjoying embroidery, but while making these, I realized that there is so much more that I should really learn about the different stitches. I learned some time ago how to do a chain stitch, and really wasn't surprised at the beginning when my projects were kinda wonky. I figured, it was a good stitch, I'm only doing simple designs, if I practice my chain stitch, I can get away with using it on everything. Well, I have been practicing my chain stitch, and while it's still not perfect, the stitch itself just doesn't seem to pick up certain details of the pattern. Especially when embroidering text. See below.

Obviously, I still have to work on my stitch length, among other things, but I just wasn't satisfied with it. So I trolled the interwebs looking for other stitches. I found a tutorial for a backstitch, which seemed to work perfectly for this next one.
See...the letters look sharper, and more clean. I just have to practice this one until I get it down.

I learned how to do a french knot also...
I have been learning so much this month about sewing, and such. With every new thing I try, I get a wave of new ideas. I have so many projects in mind that I'm bursting at the seams. I think I have to start writing all this down somewhere.

And may I say "Happy Holidays To All My Dear Readers!" I am so happy to have you all here. Oh, and while you're here, allow me to remind you of the "reason for the season". **You may need to click on it to actually see it.**

Every year around this time, I would dedicate a post on my myspace blog (back when myspace wasn't a ghost town) to everything I learned in a year. It started one year as a gag (focusing on the importance of Morrissey in my life), but I found myself going back to read it every so often. It was not only a great way for me to document the most important, and unimportant parts of my year, but it really helped me understand that my life isn't all that boring. Stuff happens, I just tend to forget about it.

So while this post may take you mere minutes to read, it is taking me much longer to write as I playback 2009 in my mind.

1) Always remember to take your slippers off before doing the laundry. Because every time I ascend the stairs to my basement they slide off my feet, and I will inevitably fall up the steps trying to shuffle them back on.

2) Check your teeth after eating black beans. You may go most of the day with black bits stuck in your teeth, and nobody will tell you about this for hours.

3) Don't ignore what you truly love. As far back as my childhood, I loved clothes, colors, patterns, fabric, and I annoyed my parents by changing my clothes 100 times a day. In my teens I handstitched unusual garments for myself. I was obsessed with couture, and ready to wear, plastering my walls with Betsy Johnson, and Kate Moss. I remember the day Gianni Versace died like it was yesterday. Thinking I would never be good enough at sewing, I never pursued my passions. I know I'm no Vivienne Westwood now, but who's to say I never will be?  I just have to practice. And get a dress form, and learn how to drape...someday...

4) A smile goes a long way. (Remember to check for black beans.) Your day will become a lot more pleasant when you do.

5) Forgiveness, and modesty go a long way as well. I try to remember that when others act negatively towards me, it may be unintentional. I don't know what kind of day they are having, or life they live, nor can I control it. The easiest thing I can do is forgive, be pleasant, and try to put a smile on their face. I also try to remember that I do not know everything. Every time I retain, and display a bit of modesty, I am opening myself up to new ideas, and experiences. By pretending to know everything, you may lose the opportunity to learn new things.

6) My Chuck Taylors require 3 cycles in the wash, and 2 in the dryer. If I wouldn't wear my Cons to work, I wouldn't actually need to wash them.

7) The Smiths are still the best music to clean the house to. I tried to mix it up a bit with some Siouxsie And The Banshees once, and I just wasn't as productive. Sorry Siouxsie, I still love you.
8) Fart jokes are still funny. Don't try to tell me they're not. Don't try to tell me I'm immature. I don't care. They're funny damnit! You know you want to laugh at them.

9) You can never plan for the unexpected. Even when the unexpected turns into "expecting", you still can't plan for that. Life will change in a matter of hours, and you won't always be prepared for it.

10) I realized that Duchess Von Puppyhausen will be one of those "smelly dogs" when she gets older, making it very awkward, and uncomfortable for my future house guests to snuggle her when she asks for it. But I will snuggle her no matter how badly she smells. I love her.

11) Thomas Jefferson will not be a "smelly dog." She will in fact be as awesome as she is now.

12) I have the best hubby in the whole world. Sorry to break it to you ladies. But it's true.

13) If you try hard enough, you can "do it yourself."

14) Don't wake up early, and chug a ton of coffee before your work field trip to Cedar Point. You will probably get motion sickness on the first roller coaster reducing you to being Debbie Downer for the rest of the day.

15) Look both ways before crossing the street, parking lot, driveway, etc. After you look both ways, look again. People love to fiddle with their cell phones while driving, and will nearly hit you. This happens so often to me now, that I am slightly afraid to walk past cars.

16) I really don't enjoy drinking as much as I used to. How sad. I used to be tons of fun. Or just drunk. :)

...on second thought, maybe I am still fun.


17) Menus are dangerous. If you aren't careful, you may scratch your eyeball with one.

18) If you think you don't have allergies, think again. You may need to purchase an adhesive eye patch to protect an eye injured by said dangerous menus, and your face will break out into an ugly swollen rash.

19) You may receive pity tips, and a knowing smile from a customer who's eye has been injured as well, after they see your swollen, ugly, rashy, eye.

20) I am really looking forward to 2010. Why? Who know what's gonna happen. I can't wait to see.

I'm squeezing in one last X-mas tutorial before all the madness is over.

I wanted to make some cute tags for all my gifts. But I found myself without a glue stick. So I did what any other normal craftress would do, I turned to my sewing machine for help.

Here's how I made my tags.

**What you need**

* Pretty card stock
* Brown craft paper
* Pinking shears
* Something pointy, or a hole punch. I don't own a hole punch, so I used something pointy
* Thread
* A bit of tape

Cut your card stock down to your desired size. It really doesn't matter what size. As long as a name can fit onto it. Mine measure about 3" x 1 1/2".

Cut your craft paper with your pinking shears to your desired size. (Mine measure about 1" x 2 1/2".) Now put a bit of tape onto your card stock. Place your craft paper on top of it. This will hold it on while you are sewing.

Now set your machine to the longest stitch, and stitch all around.

Now just poke a hole on one corner of your tag. And run it through some ribbon, or string or whatever...

I really wanted to stamp names onto the tags, but every time I tried, I either spelled it wrong, or stamped a letter on backwards. Oops. So I gave up, and wrote the names in my awful handwriting.

Have a happy wrapping day!

I loved my little nesting doll ( from my previous post) so much, that I decided to make a garland out of these little ladies.
Here, I will share with you how I made mine.

I love the flexibility of this project, it's easy to make, uses little materials, and is a great way to put your scraps to good use.

There are 4 basic parts to my doll. I will explain how I layered mine to form the basic doll, then you can embellish it in whatever crazy way you can come up with. You can use any fabric you desire for any of the parts. I chose to keep mine pretty simple, but you can choose to go nuts. If you find yourself short of inspiration, google Russian nesting dolls, or Matryoshka dolls. This is what I did when looking for inspiration. I giggled when I happened upon a site that declared nesting dolls "the owls of 2010"

Simply click on the image below to enlarge, and print out. Cut along the crooked black lines.

In the spirit of not using patterns, I will simply call these templates. :)

**What you need**
* Printed, and cut templates.
* Eco-felt scraps, fabric scraps, trims.
* Triangles cut from felt. Most of mine measure 1 1/2" across the top, and 2" long. They don't have to   be perfectly cut to this size. Not all of mine are measured perfectly. I used 24 total.
* Fuseable interfacing. Optional.
* Icky, messy, smelly fabric glue.
* A length of embroidery thread cut to your preferred measurements.
* Needle, scissors.


First you need to cut out the body. If you choose to use felt for the body, you will only need to cut out one piece of the body template (#1). If you use a lighter weight fabric, you will need to cut two pieces of your fabric (one for the front, and one for the back) and cut one piece of fuseable interfacing to stiffen up your project. Go ahead, and fuse your interfacing to one of your body pieces now.

Cut out your head (#2), hair (#3), and babushka (#4). Remember to cut around the inner circle inside the babushka making a hole.

Next, glue #2 to #1 lining up the edges.

Then, glue #3 on top of #2 lining up the edges.

Now, glue #4 on top of #3 lining up the edges.

I cut out bits of fabric and felt for my dolls faces, and glued them on, but there are many ways to do these. You can embroider eyes and lips, paint them on using fabric ink, use buttons...the only thing there is no question about are the rosy cheeks. Your doll must have them. Why? Well because...:)

Embellishing the body is fun. You can make ties for the babushka by cutting out tiny almond shaped bits, and gluing them near the point.

You can give them little aprons to wear, glue ribbons, lace, ric-rac, trim, and fabric onto their tummies. You can also embroider pretty flowers too. Go crazy!

*If you have used fabric instead of felt for the body, then follow this next step. If you used felt, you can choose to skip it.*

Pin the front of your body to the back of your body. Then set your machine to a zig-zag stitch on the shortest stitch setting, and stitch all around the edges. I used a contrasting thread to give it more interest.

Once you have finished sewing, trim around the doll to even out your edges. I made four of these dolls.

With all of your dolls finished, you're ready to string everything onto your embroidery thread. I measured mine at 10 feet. That was the length I needed for my space.

I strung 3 little triangles up by running a single small stitch near the top.

Then I slipped a doll on, near the top of her head in the same way.

I alternated between 1 doll, and 6 triangles until I got to the end of the floss. There I stitched on 3 triangles again. Did that make sense? Of course this step is as flexible as the rest of the steps in this tutorial.

Now you're all done. Go ahead and hang these up in a gloomy corner, and stare at them for an hour or two.